Major League Baseball Announces That It Is Discontinuing the Use of Popcorn-Flavored Baseball Bats

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 15 September 2021

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From the very beginning only a handful of all MLB players embraced the popcorn-flavored bats.

NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) –The commissioner of Major League Baseball Rob Manfred spoke with Margarita Mixx with the Wild Whispers News Agency and he made her aware of the latest development in the Land of The Popcorn-Flavored Baseball Bats.

Manfred told Miss Mixx that MLB will be discontinuing the policy of using these extremely unusual bats.

He noted that the experiment was a complete and total failure, adding that for one thing the bats became extremely sticky, especially in cities who have temperatures that average in the high 90s during most of the summer months.

Manfred then pointed out that due to the sticky popcorn-flavored bats, every dugout in the majors has sugar ants, carpenter ants, and Galapagos spiders.

The baseball commissioner, said that to be totally honest the baseball world has no need nor desire to continue with the dumb, stupid, lame idea of popcorn-flavored baseball bats? And he added, my goodness, what’s next? Summers Eve Fragranced baseball cup protectors?

In a Related Story: Due to the fact that the nation's largest Louisville Slugger baseball bat factory, has virtually been invaded and devastated by a group of marauding woodpeckers, MLB has just announced that the price of a regulation MLB baseball bat has gone through the roof.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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