CHICAGO – (Sports Satire) – The Chicago Wind reports that the hometown Chicago White Sox are dominating their division like no one ever has.
The ChiSox, as Windy Cityers call their team are head and shoulders above the second place team the Cleveland Indians (soon-to-be-the Cleveland Guardians).
Sox fans are so happy they are going to games and eating lots of hot dogs, popcorn, peanuts, and avocado toast, which was first made popular out on the Left Coast.
The White Sox organization has also revealed that beer sales are shooting through the roof and their sexy-as-the-dickens Corona Extra Beer bikini-clad cheerleaders have helped to increase attendance by 29%.
One Sox fan said he has just purchased box seat season tickets, just to get a better look at the hot, sexy, lascivious rah-rah girls.
Meanwhile, due to popular demand, the ChiSox organization now has their team organist Milo “The Organ Grinder” Callatuchi play the team’s theme song, “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” at least four times per game.