CLEVELAND – (Sports Satire) – Sporting Chance Magazine has confirmed the fact that many fans of the Cleveland Indians do not like the team’s new name.
Hercules Confetti with SCM said he spoke to Elroy Guzzintillo, 93, who has been an Indians fan for 87 years, and he said that the name Guardians is about as ridiculous as the old Washington Senators name.
Confetti said that one Cleveland season ticket holder, Kitty P. Varsharello, 61, said that she would have preferred the name that many fans wanted, which was the Cicadas; the Cleveland Cicadas.
Meanwhile MLB Commissioner Rob “The Man” Manfred remarked that the new name is now official and if Cleveland season ticket holders want a refund, they can write to him at: Rob Manfred, Box 0, Bum Fuck, Egypt.
In Other News: Today is Descent Your Pet Skunk Day, in every state but West Virginia.