Bob Baffert’s New Horse “Global Warming” Has Just Won His 7th Race In a Row

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 11 July 2021

image for Bob Baffert’s New Horse “Global Warming” Has Just Won His 7th Race In a Row
Global Warming (#4) was sired by Mr. Stud and out of Musical Hooves.

SANTA ANITA, California – (Sports Satire) – The greatest thoroughbred trainer in the history of horse racing may have gotten banned from entering a horse in the Kentucky Derby, but he can still participate in any other horse race in the nation.

Baffert, who is known in the racing world as “The Gray Guru” has just had his latest horse Global Warming enter and win the coveted Santa Anita Future Futurity, making it seven in a row for the amazing two-year-old gelding.

[EDITOR’S NOTE: For those unfamiliar with horses, a gelding is a horse that has been denutted.]

The Santa Anita Future Futurity, at 2 miles long, is the longest horse race in the world. And this year it featured 22 horses and 21 jockeys.

Global Warming was ridden by the pride of Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, Antonio "Tiny Tony" Pan de Dulce, who is 4-foot-8-inches tall and and only weighs 78 pounds.

Another one of the jockey’s named Juanito de Capistrano-Hola, came down with a case of athlete's foot right before the start of the race, but the owner and the racing officials decided to let the horse named Lady Libido run rider less.

They sited a 1957 racing clause that says that in the event of a jockey not being able to ride, then the racing officials can issue a directive allowing the horse to run without a rider.

Lady Libido came in fifth out of 22 horses.

SIDENOTE: Baffert told the racing media that Global Warming's next race will be the highly prestigious, winner-take-all Georgia’s Gallopers Derby in Rotten Peaches, Georgia.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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