UFO emerges from umps butt! Witness says "You had to see it to believe it"

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Friday, 21 May 2021

image for UFO emerges from umps butt! Witness says "You had to see it to believe it"
Here the UFO is seen emerging as the pitch is released. Fans describe the odor as "overpowering"

In a wild action-packed contest this afternoon in St. Louis, most fans would have told you the game had a little bit of everything - almost everything that is! Until the top of the 8th inning that is!

Three pitches had been thrown, the count was 0-2 as batter Troy Flowers had fouled off each pitch to that point. Umpire Richie Hancock threw a new ball to pitcher Jack Flaherty, then doubled over suddenly. He was approached by two other umps and the Cards trainer but shook them all off saying he was fine and stepping back behind the plate.

As Flaherty threw the next pitch - a ball, high and outside, a bright flash was seen emerging from Hancock's rear end and the entire stadium was swarmed by an awful odor.

Fans witnessed the formation of a bright, disc-shaped object that shot straight back toward the stands for approximately 10 feet then took a sharp left turn toward left field. The disc vanished as it reached shallow left. However, the odor lingered until well into the 9th.

Long-time Cards fan Larry Keyes "I'd seen that ump pulling all kinds of nonsense out of his butt all game long, but I never expected that!"

UFO expert Nole Cackleford sat in the grandstand and had a clear view of the 8th inning scene. "That's a very common type of vehicle and can grow from microscopic to over 600 ft in diameter." Cackleford could not account for the odor however.

Hancock left the field for a couple of minutes between innings but he returned to finish the game.

The ump was taken to a local hospital for examination. He was reportedly experiencing light cramps and acid reflux but otherwise said he felt fine.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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