GREEN BAY – (Sports Satire) – The Packers are headed to the NFC Championship. They easily beat a Los Angeles Rams team 32-18, that said it was just too damn cold to be playing outside.
The U.S. weather service said that the temperature at kick-off was minus 7 degrees, with a wind chill factor of minus 21.
Green Bay quarterback, and State Farm Insurance rep, Aaron Rodgers, played his best game of the season, as he tossed touchdown passes of 87, 91, and 101 yards.
After the game, he was asked how he felt. He admitted that he felt both happy and sad.
He said he was sad because he really has missed the hell out of his ex-girlfriend, former NASCAR driver, and the best kisser in Wisconsin, Danica Patrick.
Aaron dedicated the victory to Danica, who he said makes the best marijuana-flavored guacamole dip that he has ever tasted.
Many of the Packers fans spent half-time making snowmen, snowwomen, and snowkids. One man actually made a snow Donald Trump, but two security guards made him destroy it.
A Rams special teams player said he bought a hot dog right before the start of the game, but had to throw it away because it was frozen solid.
Play actually had to be stopped at the start of the fourth quarter when two of the game balls broke in half.
And hundreds of male fans said that they could not flush the urinals in the bathrooms, since they were frozen solid with yellow ice.
Meanwhile, the Rams players and coaches said they’d be so damn glad to get back to L.A. and the warm 85-degree summertime weather.