LOS ANGELES – (Sports Satire) - The Los Angeles Rams inaugurated their brand new $5.1 billion stadium, SoFi Stadium.
Due to the NFL budget being as messed up as it is, the usual Thunderbirds 4-jet fly-over was, instead, a one-helicopter fly-over, by Telemundo's Channel 52, Fly High News in the Sky chopper.
The National Anthem was sung by three-year-old Trixie Featherweather of Cucamonga.
The cute little tyke should really have practiced a whole bunch of times more; as NBC announcer Al Michaels said, she sounded like a cross between an out-of-tune rooster, and a woman’s electric vibrator.
Co-announcer Chris Collinsworth, noted that she sounded a lot better than Sara Huckabee, whose version could make the most vicious WWE wrestlers cry tears of pain.
The ‘Boys lost to the Rams 20-17.
As NFL games go, this one was a rather ho-hum affair.
Cowboys cornerback Chidobe Awuzie remarked that he hates to say it, but he missed the crowd noise; even the booing.
Quarterback Dak Prescott was asked after the game if the crowd noise got to him. He smiled and replied, “Yeah, I like that, let’s go with that.”
The total fan attendance was zero.