Diego Maradona Celebrates One Month Clean

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 24 December 2020

image for Diego Maradona Celebrates One Month Clean
Maradona earlier

Argentinian former World Cup winner, Diego Maradona, who, throughout his life, has been dogged with problems related to alcohol and drugs, is celebrating today after making it to the one-month mark since he indulged in either.

Maradona, 60, won the World Cup in 1986, and enjoyed years of success in Italy, with Napoli, where it was so easy to obtain illicit drugs, that he made a habit of having them on his Corn Flakes.

But, constant abuse of the body usually takes its toll, and the legend finally decided to kick the habit one month ago, on November 25.

Since then, he hasn't touched a drop of alcohol, fired anything into his veins, or snorted a single line of heroin or cocaine up his nose.

A doctor said:

"We're really pleased with his progress. It's not so easy to do what he 's done, to get everything poisonous out of his system, and clean up his act. It's some achievement."

The player is known to have had lung, kidney, liver and heart problems in the past, but recovered from his troubles by drinking more alcohol and either injecting or ingesting more narcotics.

His doctor said that there is still a long way to go in the battle, but there never has been anyone more determined than the diminutive Argentine.

Maradona was unavailable for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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