ORLANDO – (Sports Satire) - Even though the Clippers have been eliminated from the finals, there are many NBA coaches who consider Kawhi Leonard to be the best player in professional basketball.
Kawhi, whose teammates say will usually only speak about 80 words per day, is perhaps the most humble player in the history of civilized sports; including bullfighting, sumo wrestling, and alligator-baiting.
Leonard, a few months ago, dated Khloe Kardashian, but he ended up dumping her after the second date because, as he quietly said, “Bitch, talk too much.”
Even superstars such as LeBron James, Larry Bird, and Michael Jordan say that Kawhi can do it all, offense, defense, and a couple of times, he has even driven the team bus.
Kawhi’s business manager says that he has gotten offers from six different shoe companies, three different beer companies, McDonalds, KFC, Lamborghini, and Paul Bunyan Brand Condoms.
TNT sports analyst Shaquille O’Neal asked Kawhi who his favorite NBA player was. Kawhi, who doesn’t have a conceited bone in his body, thought for a few moments and replied, “Me.”