DALLAS – (Sports Satire) – Jerry Jones was interviewed by a reporter with CBS Sports, and Jones told him his team should be 1-0, but instead they’re 0-1 due to lots of missed calls by the refs.
Jones said that referee Nicky “Bubba” Biggaboro, 42, missed seeing Rams player Nambino Sellameeno spit on Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott’s face mask, making it impossible for him to see his downfield receivers.
That infraction should have resulted in a 10-yard penalty, which would have given the Cowboys the first down at the Rams’ 5-inch line, and that would have resulted in a Dallas touchdown on the next play.
Jones also pointed out that a Rams coach was shining a laser beam into Cowboys kicker Greg “The Foot” Zuerlein’s eyes, which resulted in him missing a 2-yard field goal.
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell commented Jones is just mad because his $9,000 botox procedure did not work.
The El Paso Expressive Express is reporting that Jones has hired famed mother/daughter attorneys Gloria Allred and Lisa Bloom, and has filed a $21 million lawsuit against the NFL Referees Federation.