Nevada Cheerleader Sacked

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 13 September 2020

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Vonkhausen's oomlaaters have been a big draw for the Nevada fans

There was controversy all the way down the sidelines at the University of Nevada this week, when its football team - the Nevada Wolf Pack - took the extraordinary step of banishing one of its cheerleaders from the squad for failing to come up to its expected high standards.

Becky Vonkhausen, 19, was told by the Wolf Pack's cheerleading coach, Stella Grappler, that she was "surplus to requirements", and was asked to hand in her pom-poms forthwith.

Vonkhausen, was told by Grappler, had been taken on in early 2018 as a 17-year-old, with a beautiful face, a stunning figure, a great physique, and a bright future in front of her, but:

"She's let herself go. I mean, diet is important, and Becky's liking for fast food, and lots of it, hasn't helped. Her shape has gone, she's tubby, and she stands out for all the wrong reasons. She's history!"

Vonkhausen's squadmates are divided about Grappler's assessment. One of them, Honeybee Backway, said:

"Becky's been piling it on recently. All kinds of shit's been disappearing down her throat. She's gross!"

But another of the fired girl's colleagues, Annabelle Flapkiss, was surprised about the dismissal. She said:

"I really like Becky. Her tits are huge! They're the biggest tits on the team. I'm astonished they've got rid of her. I hope she stays in touch, because I had designs on her, if you know what I mean."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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