Chelsea war veteran OAP's offer their services to help Lampard energize his £250 million team!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 25 October 2020

image for Chelsea war veteran OAP's offer their services to help Lampard energize his £250 million team!
Chelsea Pensioner, ex-center forward who played against Germany in 1943 offers his services to Lampard's scared Rabbits!

ZZZZZZZZZZZ was the only conclusion watching one of the most utter boring 0-0 footy games played out at the empty colosseum presently called; The Theatre of Nightmares!

The visiting team resembled a bunch of lost frightened rabbits blinded by floodlights, and the home team, utterly useless, complemented their guests with the only highlight of this boring shambles, a headlock by kickboxer, Sir 'Arry!

Millions of global punters hoping for a footy spectacle would have been more excited watching a Richard Wagner Opera performed at an empty opera house in Vienna.

After watching their beloved Chelsea, Chelsea Pensioners, ex-service men, offered Lampard a center forward, two rapid wingers, and a creative midfielder, all aged 79, to boost their flailing attacking options because their superstar, German purchases, resemble German soldiers returning from WW1; knackered!

As for the home team, well only a prayer or two into the troubled, dark clouds hanging over Manchester, could maybe help this bunch of over-paid, spoilt individuals do what they are supposed to be doing, playing attractive, speedy, attacking footy! In addition, a short, sharp visit to another empty colosseum in Paris doesn't cover over their cracks either.

So, to sum up; At least Chelsea have their Chelsea Pensioners to give them a boot up the rear end! United only have an over-the-top-Uruguayan cashing £250K a week to help them climb over Mont Blanc, and a Dutch youngster sitting in the stands wondering what the fuck he is doing in rainy Manchester while his ex-colleagues are thumping the shit out of Dutch minnows, VVV Venlo, 0-13!

This is modern day EPL global footy marketed by Sky and BT as the product of the century! Well it's better than taking sleeping pills and works ten times better ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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