England and Manchester United defender, Harry McGuire, last night told a newspaper that he has been completely naked on a number of occasions and has even been involved in sordid bouts of nudity with fellow players and current England boss, Gareth So…
Manchester United and England defender, Harry Maguire, is reported to be 'deeply concerned' due to the lack of spoof news articles lampooning his footballing ability, looks, personality, and personal hygiene. Maguire, 28, told friends that he has…
Ex-Leg-Breaking, Manchester United midfielder, Irish Nutter, Roy Keane, now earns his living f'ing and blinding on UK TV, before, in the middle, and after EPL (English Premier League) footy games. His favourite target at the moment in ranting abou…
English heads are breaking today after the headbreak of a penalty shootout, and England had one against Italy. And Italy won. England have always been rubbish at penalties. From traffic wardens to rugby regulations, England have never been able to…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Pointing to the sky after England’s 2-0 victory over Germany, Harry Maguire said that he was dedicating this victory to Monkey Woods. The United captain was named UEFA's Star of the Match after the Three Lions beat their rivals i…
The Manchester United and England defender, Harry Maguire, has spoken out about the considerable, and growing, number of fake news stories written about him, and remarked that he wished he had a ten-pound note for every one of them, for then, he woul…
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a rare display of emotion, Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, blamed his most ardent fan, Monkey Woods, for the spiritless ambiance that permeated Old Trafford yesterday, as Manchester United and Manchester City drew 0-0…
After all the many controversies concerning the Manchester United and England defender 'Harry Maguire' over the last two years, it's been revealed that the hard-as-nails Brick Shithouse is merely a fictional character created by the overactive imagin…
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a gossipy chapter of Barack Obama’s new book, The Promised Land, Obama recalls that George Clooney was without a date for the White House Correspondent's Dinner because Stacy Keibler had stiffed him at the last minute. The…
It's what the newspapers have all been waiting for, the scoop of the moment, as the Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has announced that he is to commence writing a book documenting his recent nightmare experience on the Greek holiday island…
(NOT EDITED) Manchester United's 'falling star' defender has decided enough is enough after realising he has much more talent being a kick-boxer than a twinkle-toed, footy central defender, who gets stuffed every time a speedy attacker leaves him for…
There was sensational news coming out of Old Trafford this morning, as Manchester United captain and England defender, Harry Maguire, made a shock announcement to the effect that he intends to retire from football, and to pursue a career in a differe…
The Premer League season may only have kicked off three weeks ago, but after a disastrous weekend for Manchester United, when they were humbled 6-1 by Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford, fans are keen to offload 'liability' central defender and captai…
In news that will surprise many readers, the Manchester United and England defender, Harry Maguire, has said he has 'learnt his Greek lesson', and, these days, never takes his face mask off. Maguire was recently arrested on the Greek sunshine isla…
MANCHESTER, England – (Sports Satire) – London's Tickety Boo News is reporting that Manchester United footballer Jacob Harry Maguire is very upset about the news of him being caught with performance enhancing drugs. The Red Devils star said that h…
A weather whistleblower has said that supposedly funny news stories about the weather are now almost as popular as other supposedly funny stories about the US president, Donald Trump. The claim was made by a contributor to the satirical news websi…
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England defender, who was dropped by national team boss Gareth Southgate for the Three Lions' match in Iceland last night, has said that he was so frustrated and angry about the decision, that he didn't even b…
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