HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) - Houston Astros super star Jose Altuve spoke with a reporter for CBS Sports, and told him that the Astros have learned their lesson, and they will never, ever again cheat during a baseball game.
He noted that it has been very embarrassing having little 8-year-old fans say that they want the nickel that they paid for their baseball card back.
Altuve added that even his fans in his home country of Venezuela began using the word “Altuve” to signify someone who cheats at baseball, poker, or bullfighting.
Jose pointed out that his 87-year-old grandmother, Mariposa Abispa Altuve, started wearing dark sunglasses whenever she ventures out to the fruit market to buy bananas, guavas, apples, and Tequila.
In a Related Story: Major League Baseball recently conducted an extensive investigation into cheating. And, out of the 30 MLB teams, the Houston Astros are the only team that has not cheated this year.