Major League Baseball Mandates That All Balls Must be Sprayed with Lysol Before Every Pitch

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 10 July 2020

image for Major League Baseball Mandates That All Balls Must be Sprayed with Lysol Before Every Pitch
The Lysol Company will be making a killing on MLB's new ruling.

NEW YORK CITY – A spokesperson for MLB has issued a new official directive. When the season starts, each and every baseball must be sprayed with Lysol Disinfectant before each and every pitch.

MLB points out that failure to comply with this directive could result in a fine of $7,100 to the pitcher, and $8,000 to the team.

If a pitcher is caught not spraying his balls, he could also risk being arrested and jailed for a period not to exceed three weeks.

The new rule further stipulates that, if the pitcher shows a sarcastic, arrogant, attitude, toward the umpire, he could be immediately taken into custody and placed in protective self-isolation.

A representative with the Philadelphia Phillies asked if the league would be providing the Lysol.

He was told that the league will pay for the first eight cans. After that, it will be solely the responsibility of each individual team to purchase the Lysol.

Melania Trump was recently asked which baseball team she will be rooting for. She replied, “Well as ju berry well knows, a dunt like sheeters, so eat ease not dee Astros, so I will peek dee Nu Jork Jankees.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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