Tampa Bay Buccaneers' Coach Bruce Arians Fears That Most of His Players Will Come Down With the Coronapalooza Virus

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 9 July 2020

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Sales of Tampa Bay Buccaneer home game tickets have shot through the roof since Brady's acquisition.

TAMPA BAY – Regarding the dreaded Coronavirus pandemic, Bucs coach Bruce Arians has made it very clear that he's no doctor, but he says he doesn’t have to be a firefighter to know that a forest fire is damn hot.

Coach A, said that when the Bucs signed Tom Brady, he immediately thought to himself, “Wow, we now have the Sea Biscuit of football.”

When wide receiver Mike Evans heard the news that Brady had signed with the Bucs, his wife said that he went out in their backyard and proceeded to do about 120 somersaults.

Their kids were thrilled as the dickens because ‘daddy’ was spilling coins and cash all over the yard.

Coach Arians divulged that he has gone ahead and bought the 34-foot yacht "La Muchacha De La Cha Cha Cha" that he's always wanted. He also went out and bought his wife a pair of ostriches (for breeding purposes).

He adds that Coronavirus, is one mean SOB, and he fears that if just 2 or 7 of his players get it, the other 60-or-so players will also come down with it.

The coach revealed that he has just purchased a $2 million Coronavirus insurance policy for him and his family.

He added that he has even insured their expensive Peruvian parrot, 'Bucky', for $95,000.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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