ARLINGTON, Virginia - A reporter with The Baltimore Implier-Journal has said that he was informed by a golf course security guard that he saw the president and three other individuals playing 18 holes of golf at a local golf course at 3 in the morning.
The security guard identified the other three individuals as Sean Hannity, Sen. Lindsey Graham, and Jared Kushner.
The guard who goes by the name of Deputy Barney said that the president and Hannity were the only two actually playing.
He pointed out that Graham was Hannity's caddy and Kushner was the president's caddy.
The security guard said that he had never heard so much cussing in all of his 16 years of being a golf course security guard.
When asked who Trump was yelling at, he remarked that it was not the president who was doing all of the yelling, but that it was Sen. Graham.
He added that Graham was hollering at the top of his lungs and calling POTUS and Hannity names like “Losers, chumps, birthers, and golfing colluders.”
He said that he noticed that the four had left all kinds of fast-food wrappers, containers, and cups all over the 3rd, the 8th, and the 13th holes.
When asked where the fast food trash was from, he replied “McDonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut, and Tio Tito’s Taco Food Truck.”
The president’s new Press Secretary Kayleigh “Tweety Bird” McEnany was asked about Trump’s middle-of-the night golf excursion.
She replied that it’s a hoax because the president hasn’t used his golf clubs or his balls in a long, long time.