US Long-Range Weather Forecast: Shitstorms

Funny story written by Moys Kenwood

Saturday, 11 April 2020

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The future looks bleak

The unsettled weather all states of the US have been experiencing over the last few weeks looks set to continue until at least November.

Various commentators not normally associated with weather forecasting have described the conditions as "a shitstorm".

This strange unseasonal effect has been brought on by an area of high pressure covering the whole of the country. Isobars packed closely together usually means storms, but the isobars have been packed so close together, that there is hardly any space between them, and this, in political terms, is what is known as a shitstorm, a storm of such uncommon power, that it can destroy centuries of political balance, and undermine any and all good work ever carried out by successive governments.

The eye of this storm is always in the area above President Trump's head.

Often, gale-force winds issue from his mouth, accompanied by incessant driving rain in ugly squalls.

The long-range forecast, then, for the whole of the USA:

Tempestuous, with frequent shitstorms.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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