Poch £50m Bonus For Delivering Champions League Trophy

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 27 May 2019

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Bwahaha, no megabux bonuses for semi-finals losers Ajax

London, UK - (COYS!): Mauricio Pochettino will pocket a stonking £50m bonus when the Lilywhites obliterate Liverpool in the Champions League cup final next Saturday at Wanda Metropolitano Stadium in Madrid.

The deal sees Tottenham players guaranteed an additional whole year’s salary each for delivering the victory in a one-off contract upgrade signed at White Hart Lane HQ last weekend.

It means Spurs’ annual £88,946,000 senior squad payroll will hit nearly £200m for the 2018-2019 season, excluding Poch’s payout.

Something of a record for the beautiful game.

So what does this mean for individual Spurs players already pocketing £££s for their superb efforts, and who will get the biggest bung?

Top of the list, Harry Kane will double his annual paycheque of £10.4m to £20.8m according to figures released today.

Son’s £7.28m will rise to £14.56m.

Dele Alli, Hugo Loris and Jan Vertonghen are all on £5.2m, which becomes £10.4m for the current season.

Toby Alderweireld, Érik Lamela, Lucas Moura and Moussa Sissoko’s annual £4.16m will rise to £8.32m.

Other players’ salaries will double accordingly.

“Tottenham will beat Liverpool 4-2 next Saturday,” a Spurs spokesperson told Spoof website reporters.

“We reckon the bonuses are money well spent.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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