George Best Sculptor To Get His Eyes Tested

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 24 May 2019

image for George Best Sculptor To Get His Eyes Tested
An earlier one he did, entitled 'A Bunch of Bananas'

The sculptor who sculpted the sculpture of football and drinking legend, George Best, has apologised for it, and has said he fully intends to get his eyes tested.

Tony Currie, who sculpts with the kind of ham-fistedness you might expect from an ex-boxer, is an ex-boxer. Plus he's Irish.

Currie says he asked himself "Who is the best known figure in this wee country not to have had a statue of them put up?"

He came up with the answer 'George Best', but with his poor eyesight, he didn't notice that the photograph he was using as his guide was one of Best's Northern Ireland colleague, Pat Jennings.

When, ironically, Jennings was asked to unveil the statue in Windsor Park in Belfast on Wednesday, the former Spurs goalkeeper thought he was looking in a mirror, so alike was he to it.

Skulked the sculptor:

"I realise it's not much of a likeness, but it's me eyes, y'see."

Currie has had issues in the past. His eyesight was so bad during the latter stages of his boxing career, that he was known as 'the Man who Punches Thin Air'. When he first took up sculptory, he fashioned a model of Margaret Thatcher that looked more like Charles Bronson, and one of Camilla Parker Bowles that looked rather like Margaret Thatcher.

But Currie said:

"I was working in poor light."

The Manchester United hero's surviving family have tried to save Currie's blushes. A spokesman for them said:

"The statue is a fair and accurate representation of George - when he was doing his Pat Jennings impersonation."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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