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Football Gossip: Mourinho Manhunt latest, Blatter, Tottenham and Messi

Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho Manhunt latest, Blatter, Tottenham and Messi

Under fire Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho made his feelings clear when told that he has been charged over comments he made in Portuguese to a TV camera after his side's win over Newcastle on 6 October. After consulting a lip reader, the FA s...

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Football Gossip: Mourinho, Villa, Kanye West

Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho, Villa, Kanye West

Following news that Manchester United faces UEFA charges over their late arrival for the Valencia home Champions League game, coach Jose Mourinho has been forced to deny that his team refused to leave the dressing room until he promised to say nice t...

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Football Gossip, more tales for September

Funny story: Football Gossip, more tales for September

Arsenal's Switzerland defender Stephan Lichtsteiner, 34, has rubbished reports of retirement and claims he has the body of a 28-year-old and that body belongs to his girlfriend, Brazilian pornstar Fifi La Bumba. Lichtsteiner has made one substitute a...

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Football Gossip. September 2018

Funny story: Football Gossip. September 2018

Manchester United has denied that its fans created a crowd funding campaign to get manager Jose Mourinho jailed in Spain for tax fraud. United's executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward admitted that he had paid personally for an appeal to increase the so...

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Open Mouthed Banter

After the greatest team in the world was denied a definite FA cup final win by Manchester United people have been up in arms about a “tweet” sent from the official FA account about Harry Kane. Normally Harry is only up in arms about the sun setting a...

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Spurs' Harry Kane In Hot Water With Girlfriend

Funny story: Spurs' Harry Kane In Hot Water With Girlfriend

Harry Kane, the Tottenham and England footballer, was in hot water with his girlfriend after he swore on his daughter's life that he scored his side's second goal during their 2-1 victory over Stoke City on Saturday. The Premier League goals accre...

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Saudi Cash Injection

According to a think tank of "investment consultants" (read: probable wankers) a large group of Saudi Arabian investors are looking to invest in a number of "top London" football clubs. A statement which immediately ruled Tottenham Hotspur out of the...

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Transfer Speculation Part Two

Here at Back and to the Left news we have our fingers on the pulse of the transfer market and let us tell you it's not a cadaver. Many other news outlets will scream about "hot tips" and "near certainties" when in reality they overheard a bloke on th...

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Hammers Fan Off the Danger List

Funny story: Hammers Fan Off the Danger List

West Ham's greatest fan Johnnie Wubble is officially off the danger list. He was in hospital with a chronic heart attack after the Hammers beat Manchester City earlier in the season and were fourth in the Premier League for thirty minutes. A ho...

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Spurs Sack Pochettino

Funny story: Spurs Sack Pochettino

Mauricio Pochettino has been fired from his role as manager of Tottenham Hotspur after 1440 minutes in charge. According to sources at Spurs, the board and the Chairman at the club had grown tired of Pochettino's inability to sign world class play...

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Andre Villas-Boas not paranoid

Funny story: Andre Villas-Boas not paranoid

Tottenham Hotspurs manager Andre Villas-Boas yesterday announced that he was not paranoid. "After all, paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you", he said. There is a sinister agenda to undermine me. Anyway where is this P...

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Linesman hit by flare at Villa Park

Funny story: Linesman hit by flare at Villa Park

Football took a turn back into the 1970s today when a pair of flared trousers were thrown at assistant referee David Bryan. West Midlands Police have arrested two men aged 25 and 47 over the incident. They were released on bail, and are expected t...

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Andros Townsend is the new Gareth Bale (says Daniel Levy)

Funny story: Andros Townsend is the new Gareth Bale (says Daniel Levy)

Tottenham Hotspur today announced that England hero Andros Townsend has signed a new four year contract, trebling his wages from the minimum wage of £7.50 per hour. Manager Andre Villas-Boas and chairman Daniel Levy announced the deal today as th...

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Spurs Andros Townsend to go out on loan again before World Cup Finals

Funny story: Spurs Andros Townsend to go out on loan again before World Cup Finals

Andros Townsend has told Tottenham Hotspur boss Andre Villas-Boas he would like to go out on loan again before the World Cup Finals in Brazil next summer. Townsend followed his goal scoring debut against Montengro with another solid performance v...

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Delay to Gareth Bale Real Madrid transfer explained

Funny story: Delay to Gareth Bale Real Madrid transfer explained

With one day to go before the transfer window slammed shut, the longest running transfer speculation (since Ronaldo joined Real Madrid)has been completed. After the press conference, a source close to Gareth Bale revealed to Sly Sports why the transf...

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Real Madrid recoup transfer fee for Gareth Bale in one day

Funny story: Real Madrid recoup transfer fee for Gareth Bale in one day

Real Madrid has sensationally recouped all the £85million outlay on Welsh wonder Gareth Bale in less than 24 hours. The canny Galacticos have charged 85,000 fans 500 euros to witness the press conference at the Bernabeu welcoming Bale. Each fan wi...

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Tottenham to invest £85 million in cloning Gareth Bale and other footballers

Funny story: Tottenham to invest £85 million in cloning Gareth Bale and other footballers

English Premier League (EPL) side Totting-ham Hot-sports have pleaded with La Liga giants Real Madrid to pay cash up front for Gareth Bale, the hottest footballer ever to leave Wales, (a tiny island the size of Wales on the side of England) North...

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UEFA to order investigation into one man team

Funny story: UEFA to order investigation into one man team

UEFA head honcho Michelle Platypus, the Frenchman with the woman's name, has demanded an immediate investigation into Tottenham Horsespurs 3-0 win over Inter Milan in the Thursday night Eur-trypa League. Only one of the three goals came from Spur...

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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