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Funny story: Poch £50m Bonus For Delivering Champions League Trophy

Poch £50m Bonus For Delivering Champions League Trophy

London, UK - (COYS!): Mauricio Pochettino will pocket a stonking £50m bonus when the Lilywhites obliterate Liverpool in the Champions League cup final next Saturday at Wanda Metropolitano Stadium in Madrid. The deal sees Tottenham players guarant...

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Funny story: Team of Man United Scientists Claim Anfield Is “Not A Special Place”

Team of Man United Scientists Claim Anfield Is “Not A Special Place”

Manchester, England. A team of scientists working at the University of Old Trafford have issued a controversial report that seeks to contradict claims made by the wider public in England and the rest of the world that Liverpool FC are a special club.

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Funny story: Barcelona - Is This The End?

Barcelona - Is This The End?

"Everything must come to an end" is how another old saying goes, and it was never more appropriate than on Tuesday night at Anfield, as Barcelona, so long the dominant force in Eurpoean football, threw away a 3-0 advantage, and crumbled out of the Ch...

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Funny story: Champions League Place Contenders Couldn't Be Arsed

Champions League Place Contenders Couldn't Be Arsed

UEFA fat cats were astounded at the weekend when players from Premier League contenders for a place in their flagship competition, the Champions League, decided that they couldn't be arsed, and surrendered to their opponents during the Easter weekend...

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Brendan Rodgers "I was halfway home", Larne FC "Champions League", Mourinho Team Building

Football Gossip: Brendan Rodgers "I was halfway home", Larne FC "Champions League", Mourinho Team Building

Constantly bitching Manchester United coach Jose Mourinho says his team is "far" from being built in his own image as he prepares to face Liverpool at Anfield on Sunday. The United supremo told The Spoof "My team does not sulk, they are not negative,...

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Funny story: Real Madrid Sign Karius From Liverpool

Real Madrid Sign Karius From Liverpool

European champions Real Madrid celebrated last night after overcoming a resilient Liverpool side in the Champions League final in Kiev, then announced they have signed the Anfield club's German goalkeeper, Loris Karius. Madrid won the game 3-1 - t...

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Funny story: Argentinian Beard 1 vs Spanish beard 0

Argentinian Beard 1 vs Spanish beard 0

Beard lovers worldwide were glued to the Atletico Madrid vs Bayern Munich Champions League semi-final this evening, where Diego Simeone went head-to-head (or chin-to-chin) with Pep Guardiola in the most anticipated beard-off since the creation of Ami...

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Funny story: English clubs form their own Champions league competition!

English clubs form their own Champions league competition!

After the dire performances of all English clubs in the European Champions League the FA (Football Association for our US friends) has decided to withdraw all English clubs because it is fed up having an embarrassing red nose every time it has to exp...

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Funny story: Arsene Wenger rings credit card fraud team after seeing Sanchez purchase on monthly bill

Arsene Wenger rings credit card fraud team after seeing Sanchez purchase on monthly bill

Arsenal FC manager Arsene Wenger reported the theft of his credit card to his banks fraud team today. The football coach became suspicious that someone was using his card when coming across the £30 million purchase of Chilean striker Alexis Sanchez i...

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Funny story: Swansea appeal to UEFA about Champions League ban

Swansea appeal to UEFA about Champions League ban

Premier League front-runners Swansea today admitted they are planning an appeal should they banned from playing in the Champions League next season. A spokesman for UEFA confirmed it would be a problem for Swansea to represent England in the Champ...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments (Scotland) 9th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments (Scotland) 9th August 2012

Champions League Qualifying Rd, 2nd Leg. HJK Helsinki 0 Celtic 2 Celtic win 4-1 on aggregate. I'm no expert on the Finnish alphabet, but I'd say there's no 'I' in the HJK team. Panathinaikos 3 Motherwell 0 Motherwell, playing in the CL at the expense of crisis club Rangers (currently enjoying a 100% record in the Scottish Communities Cup 1st round and Scottish Third Division) crash out 5...

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Funny story: Chelsea to offer motivational courses to public after Champions League win

Chelsea to offer motivational courses to public after Champions League win

Following their Champions League Final win on penalties v Bayern Munich, Chelsea general manager Bruce Buck has announced that they are throwing open the doors of Stamford Bridge during the summer break to run motivational courses. "If we can succ...

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Funny story: Fernando Torres hot spell 'due to climate change' says expert

Fernando Torres hot spell 'due to climate change' says expert

After circus act Fernando Torres caught fire performing a hat-trick in Chelsea's 6-1 win over QPR in West London on Sunday, experts claim his hot spell is down to climate change. Walter Waffleson from the Institute of Hot Air Studies, explained th...

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Funny story: Chelsea Defy The Odds To Make Champions League Final

Chelsea Defy The Odds To Make Champions League Final

Unbelievable. Probably the only word to sum up Chelsea's performance at the Nou Camp tonight. The game didn't start well for Chelsea when they lost Gary Cahill to a strained sideburn after eleven minutes. It got worse when Sergio Busquets gave Bar...

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Funny story: Roberto di Matteo revels in 'incredible' Chelsea win v Napoli

Roberto di Matteo revels in 'incredible' Chelsea win v Napoli

Chelsea interim manager, peanut headed Roberto Di Matteo praised his "incredible pensioners" after they beat Napoli 4-1 to reach the last eight of the Champions League. Trailing 3-1 from the first leg in Naples, the senior citizens battled back...

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Funny story: Man United quit midweek European matches because of 'busy fixture list'

Man United quit midweek European matches because of 'busy fixture list'

Manchester United Yankee owner Win Doe Glazer has decided that the team will withdraw from all European fixtures for the rest of the season. A United spokesman confirmed the withdrawal, which will happen after next weeks Europa League second leg...

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Funny story: Tevez: Roberto Mancini treated me like a dog

Tevez: Roberto Mancini treated me like a dog

CARLOS TEVEZ has accused Roberto Mancini of treating him 'like a dog' and branded the Manchester City boss 'a liar'. The Argentine returns to City today after three months on strike. He blasted Mancini as he recalled the Champions League game v Ba...

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