Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 9 July 2018

image for Sexism In Ladies Football Accusations
Fondle in training earlier

Women who are also football fans are up in arms this morning at what they call the injustice of a team's description of themselves.

They are angry that men's football teams make no 'gender distinction', and want to know why it is that women's teams are always followed by the word 'Ladies' in their names.

Wanda Buttock, a fan of Arsenal Ladies, is the mouthpiece for the Football Ladies Equality Group (FLEG), a group campaigning for equal rights in football. She said:

"We think the addition to a club's name of the word 'Ladies' is sexist. The last time I looked, it wasn't Arsenal Men, so why should it be Arsenal Ladies?"

Rowetta Lovelady, a regular at Stamford Bridge for Chelsea Ladies' matches, agreed. She said:

"We are on an equal footing with the men in society in so many other areas - why not football? We even have women commentators now, who are just as good as, if not better than, the men. The women's game is growing, and will soon be every bit as exciting as the men's game, but the 'Ladies' tag is insulting. It's high time it was dropped."

Moys Kenwood, something of an amateur football pundit himself, said:

"I sort of see what they're saying, but names are only labels, ways of distinguishing things from one another in order to avoid confusion. Would they prefer it if teams were called things like Bristol Rovers Men and Coventry City Men, or, even, the Huddersfield Town Hunks?"

The women are also concerned about the name given to the football team at Doncaster, the Doncaster Belles which, they say, is also sexist.

But Tina Fondle, the Gunneresses' sultry, sexy, heavy-chested centre-forward (pictured) - signed from the Belles last week - disagreed, saying:

"I'm happy to be called a lady. Plus, I like the way my shorts fit nice and snug. I really think the photographer got my best side!"

And here are the results of games played tonight:


Aston Villa Ladies 0 Cardiff City Ladies 4
Hull City Ladies 7 Portsmouth Ladies 2
Coventry City Ladies 1 Watford Ladies 18
Leeds United Ladies 6 Barnet Ladies 5
Manchester City Ladies 9 Sunderland Ladies 7
Arsenal Ladies 6 Chelsea Ladies 6
Everton Ladies 5 Liverpool Ladies 11
Derby County Ladies 3 Doncaster Belles 21

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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