Written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 8 July 2018

image for Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.
And just think, I could finish this look of with a waistcoat.

Walter Klondyke Smith, 56, has explained to us that he is desperately trying to think of a quiet pub he can go to on Wednesday and Sunday night when if all goes to plan some multi-millionaires will be kicking a ball around a field thousands of miles away.

Klondyke Smith said 'The Mrs and I always go out for a quiet pint on a Wednesday, supping our premium mild for three hours, until it is 9.00 o'clock, and then home to listen to the shipping forecast, but I don't really know if we can do that this week, what with the World Cup and everything. Ted at the Dead Duck has even told us that he is thinking of moving the cribbage board to allow for more punters'

Mrs Klondyke Smith said 'Thank god for that. Maybe we can do something fun that evening, like consummate our marriage. It has only been 18 years'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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