There were 155 spoof news snippets published in 2020. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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The big Apple to improve its smell.

The mayor of New York City wants to form an army of dedicated flatulants to fill the air with foul smell to scare off the virus. The IRS want their ideas back.

written by whatinthe world, 16 May 2020

Having a whale of a time

A large humpback whale has just washed up on the beach near Malibu CA.
Officials deny that it was just the President of the United States, Donald J.Trump

written by whatinthe world, 16 May 2020

Moth a real headache for Trump

United States of America President, Donald J. Trump, has been taken into custody for running over a rare Mexican moth which has been voted moth of the month here in Mexico.

written by whatinthe world, 16 May 2020

Wife not a life says desperate female

The wife of a leading physician has said that being a wife is bad for your health. "Try being an elephant or a donkey. It's much healthier," she declared, as a team of white-coated psychiatrists neared.

written by whatinthe world, 16 May 2020

Trump surprises again

President Donald J Trump has appointed the missing pilot of Malay flight MH370 to head up a medical team to find a vaccine for the Covid-19 virus. Why? "I like him. He's my kind of guy," said Trump.

written by whatinthe world, 16 May 2020

Cure for Covid 19 announced

A Bakersfield man claims he has found a cure for Covid-19. "It's called death, and it works," he said, grinning from ear to ear. He refused to add any further explanation lest he disappoint his fans.

written by whatinthe world, 16 May 2020

Fourth of July Lemmings Day

The Fourth of July will not be celebrated this year. It will pass as just another day where three thousand people die. So let's all be lemmings and do what good lemmings do.

written by whatinthe world, 16 May 2020

The Queen is stroppy

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth has made a speech directed at all the people living rough in the UK. In it, she tells them to get off their backsides and work for a living. Her Maj can't stand incivility.

written by whatinthe world, 17 May 2020

Kim comes out of seclusion

North Korean President, Kim Jong-un, has reappeared after a mysterious absence, to say he had been kidnapped by a coven of squirrels intent on regime change in Pyong Yang.

written by whatinthe world, 17 May 2020

China's final solution

The governing body of the People's Republic of China has decided that, if they can't kill most of humanity with the virus, then they will eliminate the rest with a nuclear bomb. Simple!

written by whatinthe world, 17 May 2020

North Korea's Kim on a nautical trip

North Korean president, Kim Jong-un, has thanked the US Navy for saving him, after he tried to swim to Japan in order to confuse western intelligence agencies. He now wants to be an Olympic swimmer.

written by whatinthe world, 17 May 2020

This Year’s Presidential Election Will Be Determined By How Many Likes Each Candidate Receives On Their Tweets

This gives Trump a huge advantage over Biden, seeing how little Biden tweets.

written by mikewadestr, 21 May 2020

Now listen here everybody.

British Chancellor of the Exchequer, Nigel Nobody, has announced he has nothing important to announce for the time being, and will let everybody know when that changes, if ever it does.

written by whatinthe world, 22 May 2020

Joe and his socialist dream

Unofficially endorsed US Presidency candidate, Joe Biden, wants to buy up all the country's fruit production, worth billions every year. Next stop, car manufacture. Joe, what the hell is going on?

written by whatinthe world, 22 May 2020

Ringo charged with vagrancy

Ex-Beatle drummer, Ringo Starr, has been charged with one count of vagrancy following his arrest while begging for music ideas on a Los Angeles freeway. Starr offered no plea, and will spend time in the slammer.

written by whatinthe world, 27 May 2020

Starr is a star

Ex-Beatle, Ringo Starr, has been appointed an ambassador for Islamic State, as well as other known terrorist groups. Said Starr: "These guys are crazy about me. I love it!" The FBI will question him.

written by whatinthe world, 27 May 2020

Sydney has a problem

The people of Sydney, Ontario in Canada are fed up to the back teeth with tourists confusing their town with Sydney, Australia. "People keep asking me where's the Opera House? Crazy!!" cried one local.

written by whatinthe world, 27 May 2020

Man with a new dimension on life

A plumber from Ohio has laid claim to be the first person to experience the fourth dimension. "It's cool and, hey, I saw Elvis," said the excited man. Some believe him, many don't.

written by whatinthe world, 27 May 2020

J. K. Rowling Story Delayed

Publishing of the eBook for "Harry Potter and the 3-Dick Manticore Vagina" has stalled, as J. K. Rowling declined to continue work on the story due to creative differences on character design.

written by Zabdgrov667, 12 June 2020

Nascar Bans Confederate Flag

Dukes Of Hazard fans and racists were sorely disappointed in the lane change from Nascar. Still OK to wear white hoods and wave swastikas from the stands though!

written by Paul Blake, 12 June 2020

La Guardia's $4 Billion Makeover

The most hated airport in America says they spent the money on new pay phones, killing rats, runway potholes, kicking out the homeless— oh, and moving the airport out of New Jersey!

written by Paul Blake, 12 June 2020

Tokyo Olympics now a poor imitation

The organisers of the Tokyo Olympics have announced a low scale event will be held next year with just two sports to be on display: judo and karate. Every other sport will just have to, ahem, eat crow

written by whatinthe world, 12 June 2020

Tokyo Olympics seek a new market

Organisers of the Tokyo Olympics have announced a low scale event will be held next year with just two sports on display: mud wrestling and nude marathons. Perverts are particularly encouraged to come

written by whatinthe world, 12 June 2020

Trump to leave office

US President Donald Trump has announced he will resign the Presidency effective noon tomorrow. Reading from a prepared statement while wearing black face he said that someone had put acid in his tea.

written by whatinthe world, 12 June 2020

Trump chickens out

US President Donald J Trump has announced he will resign from the Presidency effective noon tomorrow. He said that Saudi assassins were after him and he wasn't going to stay in office any time longer.

written by whatinthe world, 12 June 2020

Trump has better things to do

US President Donald J Trump has announced he will resign the Presidency effective noon tomorrow. He has just signed a movie deal with Paramount Pictures for a film on his life starring with Tom Cruise

written by whatinthe world, 12 June 2020

Kids didn't expect dad to end pet's funeral in cremation.

As if seeing Sparky lying there lifelessly wasn't hard enough, here comes dad with the gasoline and a box of matches immediately following the eulogy.

written by Jake Turner, 13 June 2020

Disney's new "Lion King" movie to feature Simba and Nala looking for a third

Disney announced earlier this week, "We know this is a bold move, but we here at Disney are very excited to start teaching kids just how great it can be to spice things up with your partner."

written by Jake Turner, 13 June 2020

Quite kid taking careful notes during school shooter drill

One classmate said: "He never spoke up in class, and when he did he usually got made fun of, but in this drill he was more involved than I've ever seen. I sure hope he learns to defend himself soon."

written by Jake Turner, 13 June 2020

"New Update Is Vista for 2020" Says Microsoft

Windows 10 ver 2004 (codename "Soft-ANTIFA") will bring a new level of suffering to computer users. Vista (2013) was like Hell-on-Earth, but the "Soft-ANTIFA" update is Infinity-Apocalypse Super!!!

written by Zabdgrov667, 13 June 2020

Mayor Pete Trying To Gain Some Kind of Attention in the Current Chaos

From the rented garage he hired after leaving office, the former South Bent Mayor has formed a revolutionary gang he's betting will be the next 'hot' draw in street occupation-Motor Pool Gay-Bangers.

written by Trinculoman, 16 June 2020

Evil lizard lurks in Trump's mind

US President Donald J Trump has announced he will resign from the Presidency effective noon tomorrow. He is convinced that a large alien lizard is watching his every move, and will soon strike out.

written by whatinthe world, 17 June 2020

Prince Charles secret desires out in the open

His Royal Highness Prince Charles has confessed that he has had enough -he wants to be a woman. He believes his life would be more fulfilling if he could only wear a twin set with pearls.

written by whatinthe world, 17 June 2020

Dead, buried but alive

A Chicago man was declared medically dead, and buried, but then dug himself out of his grave in a phenomenal set of circumstances. His Houdini-like escape has angered many people who hated him.

written by whatinthe world, 17 June 2020

Trump and his fishy behaviour

Gangs of youths have stormed the White House in Washington demanding that President Trump release his pet goldfish from confinement in the Oval Office. Trump replied with the entire National Guard.

written by whatinthe world, 17 June 2020

Astronauts demand real food

Astronauts aboard the ISS craft have demanded that NASA export a floating fast food restaurant so they can chow down on burgers and fries instead of liquid muck otherwise known as sustenance.

written by whatinthe world, 17 June 2020

Breakfast Condiments to Go "Anti-Racist"

Pancake Syrups are avoiding products with Old-Time-Black-Woman-Imagery.... New packaging uses a large, penis-shaped, plastic container (because it's not racist). LGBTQ-Vagina bottles also announced.

written by Zabdgrov667, 18 June 2020

K-Pop Fans Snatch Other Trump Tickets

K-Pop fans who pranked Dopey Don's big Tulsa rally, also plan to snatch up all the tickets to his big war crimes trial in The Hague next year, but say, this time, they will attend.

written by Paul Blake, 25 June 2020

Peaceful Protesters Versus Russian Bounty Hunters

President Trump was too busy fighting peaceful protesters in front of a church to go after Russia for putting a bounty on the lives of U.S. soldiers.

written by K.C. Bell, 29 June 2020

CAR FART OVERALLS - PROTECT YOURSELF!

Turns out it's not about being a gas bag, after all....

written by Madame George, 05 March 2020

TESLA FARTS - UNLEASH THE CLOUD

"I thought someone had zapped me with a cattle prod", said a marketing rep." A slightly sarcastic angel from space, sent to save us all from ourselves....again? Go, World Peace.

written by Madame George, 05 March 2020

TESLA FARTS - UNLEASH THE CLOUD

"I woke up in the middle of the night, and thought someone had zapped me with a cattle prod", said a marketing rep." A slightly sarcastic angel from space, sent to save us ...again? Go, World Peace.

written by Madame George, 05 March 2020

Black Face-Wearing Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau Now Wearing Black And White Face...

...by sporting silly-looking salt and pepper-coloured goatee.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 15 January 2020

Big Ben gets high on Brexit Bong

Tory MPs have promised marijuana-smoking clock tower Big Ben a puff of the good stuff to celebrate Britain’s departure from the EU at the end of this month through private members' donations.

written by Cleopatra Chaos, 18 January 2020

Pelosi's Spit Ball

Though Nancy Pelosi tore up Trump's silly speech, she could have reduced it to a series of spit-balls aiming them at Trump's nest!

written by K.C. Bell, 06 February 2020

Vegas gives New Hampshire 5-4 odds of tallying their primary votes before Iowa

Las Vegas, the gambling capital of the US, has given New Hampshire 5-4 odds of tallying their votes before Iowa does.

written by mikewadestr, 07 February 2020

Pagliacci found dead, by suicide

Pagliacci was found dead committing suicide on his hotel room. The family will take legal action against the doctor for medical negligence for denying medical attention for Pagliacci’s depression.

written by Mansa Musa, 09 February 2020

"The Masked Muslim" Blows Away Primetime Ratings

At press time, nobody was available for comment.

written by Michael Sienicki, 11 February 2020

"The Masked Altar Boy" Blows Away Vatican Ratings

No Catholics could be reached for a response, but Dillon from Glendale, Colorado went on record saying, "This "Masked" shit has gone too far."

written by Michael Sienicki, 11 February 2020

Trump wins again!

The President of the United States, Donald Trump, was today awarded an Academy Award by the Hollywood institution that adjudicates on them each year. Trump thanked the NAACP and the John Birch Society

written by whatinthe world, 14 February 2020

Trump on another mission

US President Donald J Trump has announced he will make a sub orbital flight on board a Virgin space vehicle this summer."I'm doing it for Jesus" he proclaimed though nobody is prepared to believe him.

written by whatinthe world, 14 February 2020

Boris and his puzzle

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson says that the hardest thing he has to do at number 10 Downing Street is complete his Buckingham Palace jigsaw puzzle. He claims that it takes about 50 hours to solve.

written by whatinthe world, 14 February 2020

Is that you Donald?

A man claiming to be Donald J Trump has walked into a bar in Dodge City and asked for directions to the nearest nudist colony. Mr Trump was wearing an Indian kaftan with sandals.

written by whatinthe world, 14 February 2020

Trump Mistakenly Congratulates The Wrong U.S. State for World Series Win...

...then he does it again by congratulating MASH 4077th 'For their 2020 Oscar-winning Best Picture, the Korean-made 'Parasite'.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 14 February 2020

The Red Clusterfuck

(With apologies to W. C. Williams)

Too much depends
upon

some white hicks
in Iowa

with glazed
over eyes

besides the white
chickens.



written by Matt Birkenhauer, 16 February 2020

Trump goes the Duck

President Donald J Trump has formally announced he is changing his name to Donald Duck so as to appease those people who felt that the cartoon character was being neglected by him and his oval office.

written by whatinthe world, 25 February 2020

Trump speaks out

In a terse tweet US President Donald J Trump has responded to claims of interference by Russian agents in the current election campaign as "steaming horseshit". No one believes him however.

written by whatinthe world, 25 February 2020

Easter Bunny goes green, damn!

The Easter bunny today announced that he wouldn't deliver whole milk chocolate eggs any more and was reverting to vegan styled sweets made from potatoes instead. Is this the end of the world?

written by whatinthe world, 25 February 2020

Boris pulls one out of the hat

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson wants to sell Buckingham Palace to the Chinese Government so they can renovate it to look like Disney Land. "We'll make a pile!" he excitedly claimed today.

written by whatinthe world, 25 February 2020

Strange discovery

A fisherman from Dorking has found a treasure chest on the bottom of the Thames River containing the crown of William the Conqueror. He denies strongly that he made it from jam tins he found.

written by whatinthe world, 25 February 2020

While Visiting India, Trump Unable To Pronounce Certain Names And Words To Indian Leaders...

...specifically things like 'please', 'thank you', and 'Yes, I would like more salad!'

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 26 February 2020

First Case Of Coronavirus For Family Pet Dog...

...World Health Organization warns Goldfish are next!

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 28 February 2020

Marines black ops coverage by Alien Sphincter Symbol

Recent reports indicate sightings of sphincter imprints - or kissy face lips - on airport windows, along with bug nappings. Officials worry there may be someone shouting "kiss my ass" silently.

written by Madame George, 05 March 2020

Barium Alert averted

Relieved chemical societies have once again been allowed the symbol for barium on the Big chart.Law enforcement reps explain the psych assessment had been over-rigorous. They now spell relief _ p-o-o.

written by Madame George, 05 March 2020

Boris caught out again

Enormous amounts of toilet paper rolls have been found at the rear of Number 10 Downing St. PM Boris Johnson denies he has been hording the rolls because of corona virus threats. He JUST needs it.

written by whatinthe world, 06 March 2020

Donald's weird threat

US President Donald J Trump has asked that all Americans donate money to his re-election campaign. Failing that, he will burn every supermarket in the country as a reprisal for people refusing.

written by whatinthe world, 06 March 2020

Sweden goes underground

The entire population of one small Swedish town have literally gone underground by reverting to subterranean dwellings built especially in case of a pandemic. Yes its back to the caves for these guys!

written by whatinthe world, 06 March 2020

Lizzie Warren Looks for Dough to Pay the Furies Tab

It's payday for Femi-Furies, whom Lizzie hired to stalk, harangue, and bedevil Bernie-Bros to the point of choking on their weed-breaths. She'll cash in 401Ks, funded from her "Capitalist Law" era.

written by Trinculoman, 06 March 2020

Elon Musk wins Recording Contract

Pacemaker recoverees worldwide are thrilled now that "Don't Doubt Yer Vibe" is part of many "get up and go" dance rehab programs for open heart surgery patients. "It's got a good beat!" said one.

written by Madame George, 10 March 2020

Coronavirus Health Tip of the Day

When leaving home, carry a small butane torch and several spare fuel cartridges. This way, when you need to open a door, you will be able to heat the handle to a dull red color before touching it.

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 11 March 2020

50-Year Old Canadian Music Awards Show, The Junos, Cancelled Because Of Coronavirus Fears...

...99 % of Canadians ask, "What are the Junos?"

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 12 March 2020

Trump Tests Positive For Covid-19 Denial...

...Symptoms include shutting eyes tightly, sticking fingers in ears, and going, "NA-NA-NA-NA-NA!!!"

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 13 March 2020

Stores Around The World Report Consumers Are Hoarding Numerous Rolls Of Toilet Paper...

...prompting fears from farmers about a shortage of toilet paper crops.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 14 March 2020

Trump tests Negative After Taking Nasal Coronavirus Test...

...however, doctors instead found over 20 kilos of cocaine up there.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 16 March 2020

People Misunderstand The Concept of 'Social Distancing' re. Coronavirus...

...you're supposed to STAND 6 feet away from someone, not DRIVE 6 feet away from somebody's bumper, you dumb tailgaters!

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 16 March 2020

150-Foot High Border Wall Appears Overnight Across American/Mexican Border...

...Mexican President says they built it themselves because, "You Americanos can keep your Coronavirus to yourselves! Suddenly, the drug lords and murderers down here don't seem so bad!"

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 17 March 2020

Wash your paws

Washing your paws is recommended by Dr Fucini for getting rid of COVID-19 at PETA's request.

written by mikewadestr, 18 March 2020

Social Distancing

My wife and I found the perfect way to social distance: Walk in graveyards. It puts six feet between you and everybody else, and it’s highly motivating.

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 24 March 2020

Study: COVID-19 Still a "Pretty Tight" Name

Recent polling shows general disapproval of the new corona virus outbreak, though, to many, the name itself does sound "pretty tight".

written by Larry Leibowitz, 25 March 2020

Doctors ask astronauts on the International Space Station to social distance themselves and go into self-isolation...

...Station is now orbiting Neptune.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 26 March 2020

Cheap!

You know you're cheap when you make change in wishing wells.

written by Butch, 01 April 2020

Stop & Shop

I went to Stop and Shop yesterday and found 50 dollars. Yeah, I couldn't believe it. Just sitting there in the register.

written by Butch, 01 April 2020

Drink Windex

Drink Windex, it won't leave streaks.

written by Butch, 01 April 2020

Lazy

My lazy friend was busted for hitch-hiking while j-walking. He was thumbing for piggy-backs.

written by Butch, 01 April 2020

Tree Bank

They just set up a new bank in a tree. It was a small branch.

written by Butch, 01 April 2020

Zombie Comedian

The zombie comedian killed his audience with gutsy deadpan humor.

written by Butch, 01 April 2020

Kitten

My students were mortified when I plugged a kitten into my computer, but they did the same with a mouse.

written by Butch, 01 April 2020

Apple Insider

An insider told me that Apple computers are really PC's at their core.

written by Butch, 01 April 2020

Psychopath - No shit - I am.

Drunk psychopath thinks he is irresistible to ALL women. Shot dead by his long-suffering wife.

written by Dewani Unhatched, 02 April 2020

Harry And Meghan

Has Prince Harry become a stay-at-home father, while Meghan continues her Hollywood career?

written by K.C. Bell, 02 April 2020

CNN's Infected Chris Cuomo Has A Transforming Experience

The anchor gained a new perspective yesterday. By attempting to get rid of the coronavirus by jamming a gushing fire hose up his nose, he flushed out all that lefty-progressive sh*t from his brain.

written by Trinculoman, 03 April 2020

Senator Klobuchar and Judge Jeannine Pirro in Partisan Cat Fight

VP hopeful Klobuchar/Judge Jeannine are at it tooth-and-nail! Seems like they both want Mike "Pillow Guy" Lindell as their personal Boy-Toy. Amy claims home turf MN rights, but the Judge overruled it.

written by Trinculoman, 03 April 2020

Al Gore Declared a National Health Menace

President Trump used emergency powers to have Gore arrested by US Marshals in hazmat suits. Turns out that the ex-VP was farting the coronavirus continuously in numerous venues in the nation's capital.

written by Trinculoman, 04 April 2020

Speaker Pelosi Inserting Specific, Critical Items in The Infrastructure Bill

Pelosi's draft of forthcoming Bill includes a provision for free replacement in perpetuity of false dentures worn by California female octegenarians who have had multitudinous facial restructurings.

written by Trinculoman, 04 April 2020

New York Governor Cuomo Acquires Yet Another Accolade

Gov Cuomo can add one more plaque to his Albany office wall, after being named Chief Capo of Meatball and Italian-Sausage Suckers of America.The prestigious honor is awarded by the Don Corleone Institute.

written by Trinculoman, 09 April 2020

Little Known Career Fact About CNN Anchor Don Lemon

He was one of the early recipients of the "Ignoramus Maximus" degree from Pee Wee Herman Extension School of Journalistic Irrelevancy of No Fork, North Dakota. Chuck Dodd of NBC has also got one.

written by Trinculoman, 09 April 2020

Mexican Government Praises Drug Cartels for their COVID-19 Etiquette

"Maintaining quarantine guidelines with house to house shoot-outs".

written by C/L, 11 April 2020

Doctor Anthony Fauci Makes an On-Air Diagnosis of Mark Cuban's Disease

Crack diagnostician Fauci instantly defined the nature of Cuban's illness on Fake News Sunday. The Doc says Cuban has severe diarrhea of the mouth complicated by the complete absence of brain matter.

written by Trinculoman, 12 April 2020

"The Wombles Led Me Astray" Claims Rolf Harris

"I wrote John Cage's silent piano piece 4' 33" claims Devon watering-can repairer, Adelbert Lossiemouth. "I recorded it on a cassette to prove it."

written by Erskin Quint, 15 April 2020

Philip Schofield Drank Milk From My Daughter's Breasts

More papier-mache busts of Hereward The Wake have appeared at Chichester pub The Running Sore. "The ensuites are all full of them now," says landlord, Colin Drab.

written by Erskin Quint, 15 April 2020

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March
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April
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