There were 34 spoof news snippets published in May 2020. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
The big Apple to improve its smell.
The mayor of New York City wants to form an army of dedicated flatulants to fill the air with foul smell to scare off the virus. The IRS want their ideas back.
Having a whale of a time
A large humpback whale has just washed up on the beach near Malibu CA.
Officials deny that it was just the President of the United States, Donald J.Trump
Moth a real headache for Trump
United States of America President, Donald J. Trump, has been taken into custody for running over a rare Mexican moth which has been voted moth of the month here in Mexico.
Wife not a life says desperate female
The wife of a leading physician has said that being a wife is bad for your health. "Try being an elephant or a donkey. It's much healthier," she declared, as a team of white-coated psychiatrists neared.
Trump surprises again
President Donald J Trump has appointed the missing pilot of Malay flight MH370 to head up a medical team to find a vaccine for the Covid-19 virus. Why? "I like him. He's my kind of guy," said Trump.
Cure for Covid 19 announced
A Bakersfield man claims he has found a cure for Covid-19. "It's called death, and it works," he said, grinning from ear to ear. He refused to add any further explanation lest he disappoint his fans.
Fourth of July Lemmings Day
The Fourth of July will not be celebrated this year. It will pass as just another day where three thousand people die. So let's all be lemmings and do what good lemmings do.
The Queen is stroppy
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth has made a speech directed at all the people living rough in the UK. In it, she tells them to get off their backsides and work for a living. Her Maj can't stand incivility.
Kim comes out of seclusion
North Korean President, Kim Jong-un, has reappeared after a mysterious absence, to say he had been kidnapped by a coven of squirrels intent on regime change in Pyong Yang.
China's final solution
The governing body of the People's Republic of China has decided that, if they can't kill most of humanity with the virus, then they will eliminate the rest with a nuclear bomb. Simple!
North Korea's Kim on a nautical trip
North Korean president, Kim Jong-un, has thanked the US Navy for saving him, after he tried to swim to Japan in order to confuse western intelligence agencies. He now wants to be an Olympic swimmer.
This Year’s Presidential Election Will Be Determined By How Many Likes Each Candidate Receives On Their Tweets
This gives Trump a huge advantage over Biden, seeing how little Biden tweets.
written by mikewadestr, 21 May 2020
Now listen here everybody.
British Chancellor of the Exchequer, Nigel Nobody, has announced he has nothing important to announce for the time being, and will let everybody know when that changes, if ever it does.
written by whatinthe world, 22 May 2020
Joe and his socialist dream
Unofficially endorsed US Presidency candidate, Joe Biden, wants to buy up all the country's fruit production, worth billions every year. Next stop, car manufacture. Joe, what the hell is going on?
written by whatinthe world, 22 May 2020
Ringo charged with vagrancy
Ex-Beatle drummer, Ringo Starr, has been charged with one count of vagrancy following his arrest while begging for music ideas on a Los Angeles freeway. Starr offered no plea, and will spend time in the slammer.
Starr is a star
Ex-Beatle, Ringo Starr, has been appointed an ambassador for Islamic State, as well as other known terrorist groups. Said Starr: "These guys are crazy about me. I love it!" The FBI will question him.
Sydney has a problem
The people of Sydney, Ontario in Canada are fed up to the back teeth with tourists confusing their town with Sydney, Australia. "People keep asking me where's the Opera House? Crazy!!" cried one local.
Man with a new dimension on life
A plumber from Ohio has laid claim to be the first person to experience the fourth dimension. "It's cool and, hey, I saw Elvis," said the excited man. Some believe him, many don't.
Sales of Depends Increase Exponentially To Ex-FBI & DOJ Users
Comey, McCabe, Strok, L Page, and A Weismann daily fill multiple Depends incontinence briefs.They're constantly in full flow, as US Atty Durham zeroes-in on their abuse-of-power crime on General Flynn.
written by Trinculoman, 02 May 2020
Michigan Governor Christine Whitmer Commissions Her State Portrait
Whitmer called upon State Crayonist Pedrono Fascisisco to memorialize her as Lucretia Borgia, ordering the execution of all Michiganders who have defied her fits to stay the f*ck away from her palace.
written by Trinculoman, 02 May 2020
Sue Barker's Garden Gnome Hell
Devon farmer John Barleycorne, the first man to have cement ears fitted, is a fan of offensive comedian Roy "Chubby" Brown and the sacred polyphony of William Byrd.
Winston Churchill's Nude Capybara Nightmare
"It's important to stay positive during the lockdown," says veteran entertainer, Rolf Harris. "I keep cheerful by watching old videos of Jim'll Fix It and It's a Knockout, and listening to Dave Lee Travis.
Scarborough Bans Gordon Ramsay
"I wrote Dostoyevsky's The Idiot", claims Devon watering-can repairer, Adelbert Lossiemouth. "I had the plot and characters all ready to go, but Dostoyevsky got published before I got it written down."
Kissinger Confesses: My Threesome With Topol And Jimmy Hill
Little Richard had a flock of imaginary passenger pigeons in his spare bedroom at the flat in Doncaster. He said he was "saving them from extinction in his mind, if not the so-called real world."
Bishop Swallows Theodolite
A stone age cave drawing of Victor Borge and Violet Carson playing leapfrog with Lulu on Saltcoats Pier while Arthur Askey breaks up a Hittite Chariot for kindling, has been spoiled by chalk graffiti.
I Sent My Turds To Art Garfunkle's Gardener, Claims Roy Cropper Actor
Billericay eel-strangler, Gladys Stencil, is no fan of the Octopus. "Slippery bastards! I had a go at one once," she reminisced, yesterday. "Next thing yer know, I had me 'ands on a bleedin' coral branch!
Owls Nesting in Jacob Rees-Mogg
"Coldplay are awful," claims Prince Ferdinand Georg August of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, "and that Chris Martin is a tedious prick. I can see it, and I've been dead since 1851. What's wrong with these people?"
Robbie WIlliams To Rent Gobi Desert As Ego Storage
Dorking bachelor, Dick Palmer, has fallen out with his imaginary wife. "She's gone to stay at her mum's," he said, yesterday. "I'm back to wanking over thoughts of a naked Joan Bakewell stroking an okapi.
Ted Heath's Toby Jug Collection Stolen
Pontefract hot water bottle designer, Colin Artefact, has abandoned his attempt to recreate the ebony hot water bottles of the early Hittite queens (or Tawananna). "You can't get the wood," he said.
How To Nurture Your Inner Thomsons Gazelle
The papier mache bust of Hereward The Wake crisis has reached new levels at Dorchester pub The Running Sore. "Now we've found more damned busts wedged up the chimneys," said landlord Colin Drab, yesterday.
I Inherited Lord Boothby's Recipe Books, Claims Anatolian Goat-Skinner
The Two David Livingstones have hit a snag with the new bungalow in Boxgrove. "The life-size waxwork of Daniel Lambert won't fit through the front door", said David Livingstone, yesterday.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis Botches COVID-19 Response
By banning Corona beer in order to flatten pandemic curve.
written by C/L, 05 May 2020
Where Is Prince Harry?
Is Prince Harry turning into Norman Maine of A Star Is Born?
written by K.C. Bell, 05 May 2020
Russia has a problem.
The chief health inspector of Russia has declared that democracy is sick for as long as President Putin remains in office.
So Putin has sent him to Siberia for a permanent holiday.