There were 42 spoof news snippets published in August 2020. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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Trump Loves All Poll Workers

Trump said he was in favor of more poll workers. But when it was explained to him that the question wasn't about strippers, he reversed his opinion.

written by Paul Blake, 01 August 2020

Aspartame Boy revelation!

Aspartame Boy admits he spends only three minutes writing each story.

And he only uses his thumb holding the phone, while picking his nose with the other hand!

written by Aspartame Boy, 01 August 2020

Weightwatchers change their name

In the light of the Government handing out food vouchers, stimulating the economy by encouraging people to eat out, Weightwatchers have decided to change their name to, "Sod it. Give me the cakes."

written by ExiledRoyal, 01 August 2020

Trump's Rally Crowds

Donald Trump's outdoor rally crowd gathering at airfields is so small, (also called puny) the group could be fitted in Air Force One, with a few standing on the steps.

written by K.C. Bell, 01 August 2020

Trump And Statue Of Liberty

“And some I assume are good people.” What a stingy escalator welcome by Donald Trump. The Statue of Liberty says: “Give me your tired, your poor…yearning to breathe free...I lift my lamp...”

written by K.C. Bell, 01 August 2020

Trump Touts Penicillin as COVID Cure

When Dr. Fauci pointed out that antibiotics are only effective against bacteria and not viruses, Trump retorted: "FAKE NEWS!"

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 02 August 2020

Trump Didn’t Attend Funeral Of John Lewis

Three living presidents went to the funeral of Congressman John Lewis. Trump was a no-show. “He didn’t go to my inauguration.”

True. Trump's inauguration was a national funeral, too.

written by K.C. Bell, 04 August 2020

In Future News...

...lazy people continue to not use the Spell Chek feature.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 06 August 2020

In Future News, 'Uranus' Still Used As Punchline In Jokes...

...Greek God still annoyed, and wishes he was named something else..

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 09 August 2020

Apple to introduce person-free shopping

The technology takes away the need for cashiers and checkouts.

Liverpool residents say that this cutting-edge approach is known as "shoplifting".

written by ExiledRoyal, 07 August 2020

Vanishing Vicars: Police Called

As speculation mounts about vanishing vicars, the police are investigating. Inspector Whitty, Police Unsolved Nonsense Squad, said, "We are treating this as a missing parsons case."

written by Joel Kaye, 09 August 2020

Donny Pens 'The Fart Of The Deal'

In the sequel to 'The Art Of The Deal' , The Fart Of The Deal explains exactly when Trump likes to blast an 'undies-stainer' during any business negotiation.

written by Paul Blake, 09 August 2020

Happy Days no more

News that a possible "Happy Days" cast reunion was in the offing have been denied by leading actor (now director) Ron Howard. "I'm not doing any shitty reunion with those losers" he cried. He's angry.

written by whatinthe world, 10 August 2020

Another TV show reunion sunk

Fans of TV show How I Met Your Mother have been left disappointed by the cancellation of a cast reunion."Too f...ing bad!" was the reaction of one former star."Eat my dust" he added. Oh my my!

written by whatinthe world, 10 August 2020

Trump to get a visit

Speaker of the House of Representatives on Capital Hill, Nancy Pelosi, has organised a deputation of Black Lives Matter campaigners to visit President Trump to seek his immediate resignation.Good luck

written by whatinthe world, 10 August 2020

Post Office Workers Snorting Coke At Work

Customers in Bournemouth were shocked to see two employees sharing what appeared to be cocaine in between serving customers.

One said that they'd never seen lines move so fast in the Post Office.

written by ExiledRoyal, 11 August 2020

Beware of porkers

A Kansas farmer has been attacked by a herd of pigs who strung his limp body from a windmill. People want to know if this is ham acting or something more sinister.

written by whatinthe world, 12 August 2020

Biden learns a thing or two from his future Veep

New Democratic Vice President candidate Minnie Mouse has allegedly taught Joe Biden how to tie his shoe laces while sitting down. People are seeing this as a major step forward in political history.

written by whatinthe world, 13 August 2020

Damn that little drug house on the prarie

A possible cast reunion of hit TV show Little House on the Prairie has been halted by some concerned viewers who thought that the program promoted drugs and liberal lifestyles. Well bake me some beans

written by whatinthe world, 13 August 2020

Truck driver has a cure for Corona

A cure for Covid 19 has been discovered by an interstate truck driver in Gary,Indiana. He put together the contents of a Coke can and skunk urine in a potient that once sipped annihilates the virus.

written by whatinthe world, 14 August 2020

VP Pick Kamala Harris Calls On the Clinton Goon Squad to Handle "Old" Business

It's her "Brown" problem. Ol' Willie is on a tear and ever ready to tell less than flattering tales about her Cal "salad days," so she gave Hillary Sec'o'State again to get her hit squad to handle it.

written by Trinculoman, 14 August 2020

Mitt Romney Endorses Kamala Harris, Wants a Special Cabinet Post

Wannabe White House guy Mitt has given the nod to Kamala for President and forked over mega-bucks to the campaign. But there's a quid pro quo -- the Mittster will become Secretary of Female Binders.

written by Trinculoman, 14 August 2020

Sewer man emerges from crap swim

A Chicago man has become the first human to "swim" the entire length of New York City's sewer line. When asked what it was like he replied saying it was a "s...ty" experience. No one disagreed.

written by whatinthe world, 15 August 2020

Domino's Trial New Pizza

Domino’s Pizza is testing something they're calling the 'Breakfast Pizza'. This is what single men call 'Pizza'.

written by ExiledRoyal, 15 August 2020

Jimmy is a rocking winner

Ex US President Jimmy Carter has broken the world record for the greatest number of rocks in a rocking chair on his front porch. A new rock star is born.

written by whatinthe world, 15 August 2020

Billionaire funds billionaire

Eccentric reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes is believed to be bank rolling the Presidential campaign of Donald J Trump.
Hughes has wired millions to Trump's coffins for nearly ten years or so.

written by whatinthe world, 16 August 2020

On the Eve of the Demo Convention, Beto O'Rourke Has a New Gig

Beto has been assigned to wipe the drool off of "Loopy" Joe's chin during the frequent breaks when the DNC Presidential Nominee is off the video feed in its "virtual" convention.

written by Trinculoman, 16 August 2020

Millions Go Pantsless

After CDC scientists prove you could catch coronavirus from farts, millions of hill-billies and Trump supporters refuse to wear pants, declaring a constitutional right to flatulation.

written by Paul Blake, 17 August 2020

Gov Andrew Cuomo Touts 'Love' at Democratic Convention!

"Grim Reaper" Cuomo, responsible for more nursing home deaths than any spot in the world,burbles about 'Love!'. Gotta be 'Love of Meatballs,' cuz there's zippo empathy for those who lost "loved ones."

written by Trinculoman, 18 August 2020

Real Housewives of Cheshire to be axed

Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, the reality show Real Housewives of Cheshire is to be discontinued.

ITVBe said, "You know it's bad when people who don’t even have jobs are losing their jobs."

written by ExiledRoyal, 18 August 2020

Butcher creates history

A butcher from Huddersfield UK has produced the biggest lamb shank in history, weighing 47 kilos. Next he wants to eat it all by himself proving what a greedy SOB he really is.

written by whatinthe world, 19 August 2020

Susan Boyle Voted World's Most Beautiful Woman

Susan Boyle won the accolade of 'The World's Most Beautiful Woman'.

Critics have accused her of cheating, by sitting next to Keith Richards.

written by ExiledRoyal, 19 August 2020

Tunnel was a harmless attempt to travel this man said

A Connecticut man has built a tunnel from his home to the nearest bank. Police believe he foolishly thought he could avoid parking hassles and travel direct to the bank. He didn't consider theft ever.

written by whatinthe world, 19 August 2020

Death Valley Lives Up To Its Name As Temperature Soars To 56.7 C (134.1 F).....

...meanwhile, Intercourse, Pennsylvania, USA, and Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada try to do so, as well.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 19 August 2020

M. Voltaire Opines on The Hillary's Bleeping Speech at Demo Confab

The Hillary lecturing on what it takes to be President is like an atheist asserting the transcendent existence of God -- clueless in Chapaqua, blind in a dark wood. M. Voltaire

written by Trinculoman, 20 August 2020

Trump does a number on Biden

In a Trumpian move unprecedented like no other, Donald J Trump has sent a chill up Democratic Party members spine concerning Joe Biden's citizenship. Trump says Biden is a German born national.

written by whatinthe world, 20 August 2020

Treasury under the pump

The head of Treasury in the United States has become the victim of a Presidential executive order. The order sought that the Treasurer "f....off and let me run the country". His word is final.

written by whatinthe world, 20 August 2020

Flagstaff to go it alone

People living in Flagstaff Arizona have decided to form their own independent nation and leave the Union. They have a separate constitution, flag and pledge of allegiance. However, no free wi fi!!!

written by whatinthe world, 21 August 2020

In Small Town News Wendell Throckmorton of Yorbley Corners moved his RCA radio from the living room to his kitchen...

...so now he can listen to Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians, while he watches his wife do the dishes.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 25 August 2020

Boyle flying to moon

Singer Susan Boyle has been selected as the first civilian to fly to the moon and return to Earth. No one has the heart to really tell her that it will be a one-way trip. She's not coming back home.

written by whatinthe world, 25 August 2020

Trump Investigates Putin Poisoning

Trump demands answers after another Putin poisoning. He wants to know: Where do you get the stuff? How much does it cost? What's the best way to do it? And how do you cover your tracks?

written by Paul Blake, 26 August 2020

Extinction Rebellion...

Dinosaurs were said to have no talking skills before letting all hell loose on the pitch. Some Dinosaurs are now extinct because they couldn't understand or use English.
Long live the Thesaurus.

written by Scooter Nairns, 29 August 2020

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