Appeals court: Obama violating law on nuke site waste
Not so easy to blame others for decisions a President needs to make. Your turn for the "Hot Potato" Mr. President.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Obama Feasts on Fried Shrimp, Fried Oysters, Onion Rings
While Michelle has school kids on fruit, yogurt and milk. "Do as I say, not as I do?" Didn't we learn that lesson in the Fifties and point it out in the Sixties? Guess Not.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Teen unemployment rate in CA 33%
Jerry Brown doing a bang-up job, just like he did before. Teens need jobs to stay out of gangs!!
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Announcer, Rodeo Manager Resign
"I know I'm a clown, Obama just running around acting like one, doesn't know he is one'. I think there will be a big market for these on Halloween!"
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Clowns ordered to 'sensitivity training' for Obama Masks
"He's the one who needs sensitivity training", states one. "He's knows he's ugly but won't face it. Get it guys. He won't face it. Needs Humor training.!"
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
The NBA "(H)oops" Schedule For 2013-2014
The 2013-2014 NBA Shedule was just released but it's going to have to be redone. It seems the schedule showed the world champion Miami Heat playing the last place Orlando Magic a total of 19 times.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 August 2013
America Idol Wants Will.i.am
The producers of American Idol want Will.i.am to be one of the new judges. They suggested that he change the spelling of his name to the easier to write William. He replied "No.w.a.y."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 August 2013
Anthony Weiner Recall
All Anthony Weiner Bobblehead Dolls are being recalled. It seems that they were missing the pants.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 August 2013
The Mars Rover Curiosity Has Been Roving For 1 Year Now
NASA is concerned about the Mars rover Curiosity because of the fact that the right rear tail light has burned out.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 August 2013
The New York Yankees' A-Rod Will Definitely Keep In Shape
Dancing With The Stars has invited Alex Rodriguez AKA A-Rod to appear on their next edition, since as an executive stated he'll have lots of free time on his hands (and feet).
written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 August 2013
Weiner Support Droops as Mike Tyson Takes Lead in NYC Mayoral Race
The polls have a new leader as Weiner support softened. Former undisputed heavyweight boxing champion and convicted rapist, Mike Tyson, has taken the lead in the Democrat primary.
written by Moose, 13 August 2013
Sirens in New Jersey!
No, it's not Lindsay Lohan this time. Apparently Chris Christie lap band broke just as a joker gave him a hotfoot and now the fat is in the fire.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
How Can We Forget, It's Comes Out Every Ten Years!
There is talk of still another remake of The Alamo. We still lose. But the word around the studios is that Meryl Streep will be playing Davy Crockett, her hardest role yet.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Michelle Obama Talks About Husband
"I could tell you stories of all his failures but Ill leave that up to Talk Radio. I mean, he never puts the seat down!"
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Pope Francis Really Changing Things #2
They even have a mule over at the Vatican store that has my voice", says the pope. "Francis the Talking Mule." But there was a donkey near the baby manger & there have been more than 1 jackass Pope."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Pope Francis Really Changing Things
Now available at the Vatican store, a Bobblehead Pope Francis! "At least it's not a bubble head."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
New Yorker Worried
"Hear those sirens and that's probably an ambulance now", says man on NYC street. "Every time I hear one I thinks to myself, "I wonder where they are taking poor Lindsay Lohan now?"
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Next Rolling Stones Tour Getting Ready
"It will be in 2016 and we already have the electric wheel chairs ready to roll! "Rolling Jack Flash is a g-g-gas!"
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Just What You Asked For!
President Obama says that Americans have gotten just what they asked for, a government in Washington DC that actually listens to them. "Still most of you seem unhappy with it."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Now Who's Missing?
Two months into new leader in Iran and Israel is still there. However, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has apparently disappeared off the face of the earth!
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
New Politically Correct
While models are not "Sticks" we have found that the obese prefer being called "The Gravity Challenged".
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Poor Voter Turnout
If a great new candidate doesn't appear soon, we could get stuck with Bush or Clinton. Today Hilary joked that the cemetery vote could do it while Bush is hoping for more absentee voters showing up.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Teenage drinking raises risk of early dementia, study suggests -
So "Eat, Drink, and be Merry" doesn't apply anymore.
written by Samuel Vargo, 13 August 2013
Website 'Crap Towns Returns' Lists Ugliest UK cities -
As #1 Hemel Hempstead, #2 Luton, #3 Slough (but at least they're still prettier than Detroit, Amman, Mexico City, or Caracas).
written by Samuel Vargo, 13 August 2013
Tesla Motors founder details futuristic 'Catastropult' system
SAN JOSE, CA - Tesla Motors and Paypal founder Elon Musk unveiled his "Catastropult" system today, detailing a catapult that would toss people from Los Angeles to San Francisco in 1/2 hour, or so...
written by Moose, 13 August 2013
Al Sharpton Calls For Boycott of Blackberry Products
WASHINGTON, DC - Democrat Activist, MSNBC host and part-time clown Al Sharpton has called for a boycott of all Blackberry products.
written by Moose, 13 August 2013
Women at Restaurants Object To MENSA Diners
Unless you keep those guys from mentally undressing us every time they come in here, we won't be back.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Limbaugh: Immigrants have more babies #2
Native Americans: Why didn't we think of that? Women times 9 months. We could have outnumbered whites 10-1 back then. We deserve losing. Could have had country and fun times.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Limbaugh: Immigrants have more babies
Octomon: Those little women can't keep pace if we really throw ourselves into this.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Snowden Squealing Like A Pig
Snowden has been telling everybody about everything everybody else has ever done to anybody else after visit from KGB.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Washington Continues To Spend More
Report: Country could save millions if congressmen would settle for streetwalkers instead of high price call girls!
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Study reveals #1 carrier of germs at restaurants
It's the waiters thumb, which somehow finds its way into your soup and veggies on your plate. FDA: We advise watching servers actions, like licking thumb, before ordering.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Honduras is Named as World's Murder Capital
The government there has invited hundreds of mystery writers to hold convention, assist police...be held for ransom.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Sequester Forces Layoffs
Vice President Joe Biden and Republican Speaker Mitch McConnell have been laid off by the U.S. Government. "We just don't have the funding for their offices", says spokesman for Obama.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Limbaugh Accuses Obama Again
"The President had a face lift for their dog, "Bo" and we taxpayers paid for it.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
U.S. Leaks Not So Bad
German official say they are kind of childish. "We German professionals think it's all kind of sad. Like kids playing 'Doctor'."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Winchester, Kentucky:Meth User On The Run
In Kentucky, a large crowd with lighted torches chased a long-time meth user last night but he got away. "Not entirely. We found his nose!", says leader of mob.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Taliban warn Pakistan government over executions
"You are doing them entirely in the wrong way. You have no etiquette."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
July Retail Sales Were Sluggish!
Michelle Obama promises to put them on higher fiber program!
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Weiner hints at Clinton 2016 run
In CNN Program Anthony Weiner hinted that Hilary Clinton will run for President in 2016. Asked if she would have a Weiner running mate, Weiner responded with "She already has one."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Study suggests Neanderthals were more advanced
"But we're catching up with them fast", says Professors Jim and Van Morrison.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Judge changing baby's name Messiah draws reaction
This is supposed to be a free country, say many. Arizona man says that if name is restored to Messiah, he will change his newborn baby's name to Obama's Ass!
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
New Test for Detecting Alzheimer's and Dementia
"I was just tested", says man wearing Bullwinkle house shoes, a bright pink shirt and a thong. "They said I was fine. Good to know."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
'Guardian Angel' at Missouri Car Accident Identified #2
It was Father Dowling from popular mystery books and played on TV by Tom Bosley.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
'Guardian Angel' at Missouri Car Accident Identified
Patrick Dowling Is a Roman Catholic Priest in Jefferson City! The only mystery I've had is that I was in NYC at the time. I thought the car thing was a dream."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Oprah Admits Shes Sorry! Most Agree!
Oprah Winfrey says she's "sorry" that a media frenzy emerged after saying she experienced racism during a trip to Switzerland.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Air pollution takes toll on China's tourism
"This is...can you see me? OK, this is John Hillard reporting from near the Great Wall of Chi...OOOFFFF! Smog so thick you cannot see that ******* Wall!"
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Obama Clown Banned From Fair!
Told to go back to Martha's Vineyard where he's supposed to be vacationing!
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Obamas Attend Cocktail Party at NPR Host's Home
GOP once again draws up bill to do away with NPR support by the government.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
SUMMER SICK: Salad mix production halted after stomach bug
"They are so small it's hard to see them on lettuce along with all the poison sprays", says Company spokesman.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Michelle Obama releasing Crap album
I'm sorry, that should "Michelle Releases Obama Crap Album". Pardon: "Michelle Obama Releases Rap Album".
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Hillary cites 'Medgar Evans' at Speech
While Bill sings "Only A Pawn In Our uh Their Game" in the crowd.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Yet Another White House Obamacare Delay
Out-Of-Pocket Caps Waived Until 2015, maybe 2115. Depends.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Big Blue getting Married!
Big Blue computer and star of the Jeopardy Show is getting married this weekend. He will be marrying the lovely Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine, daughter of Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel!
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Arrival of Perseids Meteors Marks First Shower For Most West Virginians
-Some 1.8 million West Virginians were treated to their first shower of any sort when they looked skyward to see the Perseids Meteor Shower streaking through the night sky tonight.
written by Bushman09, 13 August 2013
Biden considers possible 2024 bid
WASHINGTON, DC - Vice President Joe Biden may run for President in 2024, or he may be dead. But he wants you to know he might, or might not.
written by Moose, 13 August 2013
A federal judge throws out racial discrimination by Paula Deen -
It's good to know the KKK is still alive & well in Georgia!
written by Samuel Vargo, 13 August 2013
Obama administration slams Israel amid peace talks #2
Trading land for peace worked so well before. Give Poland to Hitler and there will be world peace.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Obama administration slams Israel amid peace talks
Great. We had one friend left in the entire world and now we attack it. Next, allow the terrorists into Israel and then they can come here.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Darvish fans 15 in one-hit gem
Even though it was against the worst team in baseball, manager says that he was a Whirling Darvish" today.
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
Judge rules New York stop-and-frisk unconstitutional
"No matter what she looks like , Sir?" "Nope, fun times over."
written by Bureau, 13 August 2013
