There are more cows and sheep than people in New Zealand. And those animals (not the people) have been getting a free ride for too long. Get ready for the ass tax! Greenhouse gas emission, especially methane, from the assholes of cows and the b…
BURNT BARLEY, Kansas – (Satire News) – In a story that is so unbelievable that it could not possibly be true, the Vox Populi News Agency is reporting that an EF5 tornado hit the little town of Burnt Barley at 12:35 pm. And a dairy farmer, who look…
SAN ANTONIO – (Satire News) – Texas cattle rancher Ambrose “Slim” Pickweather, says that he is a fifth-generation cattlemen going back to 1837, when his great, great, great, great grandfather Otto “Slim” Pickweather owned over 2 million acres in Tumb…
A man who should probably know better at his age, has revealed how, during a motorbike ride to his place of employment this morning, he took aim with a child's plastic 'gun', and fired a tiny stone from it at a cow's behind, scoring a direct hit.
ST. CLOUD, Minnesota – (Funny News) - Dairy farmer Spencer Funkwood told a reporter with USA Today that he has been a dairy farmer for 51 years, and, in that time, he has owned over 27,000 milk cows. He said that he has never seen a herd of cows…
In an incident that locals have described variously as "shocking", "frightening", "uninteresting", and "not worth mentioning", a swarm of cows surged past a man's house this afternoon, causing perturbation. The excitement took place on the road ou…
A man has told of how, as he was filling a kettle with some cold water so that he could make a cup of tea this afternoon, he was distracted by the sound of cows mooing outside his back door, and inadvertently allowed the water in the kettle to rise a…
Molly the cow got the surprise of her life when, one minute, she was chewing some grass in a field near Babbington, and having a pleasant bovine conversation with Milly the cow about the taste of daffodils, and, the next, she was being tasered and ha...
SHEBOYGAN, Wisconsin – The local authorities are reporting that a local farmer sustained an injury while he was drinking milk. Sheboygan police officer, Wendell Braggberry, (Badge #3017) said that he took a statement from Silas P. Coogins, who own...
NEW DELHI, India – President Trump landed at the Ravi Shankar International Airport and was greeted by a crowd estimated to be about 95 or maybe 98, including two dozen or so airport workers. It was very windy as the president waved to the crowd m...
Tapping into what she predicts will be a growing market for animal plastic surgery, veterinarian Dr. Myra Goodrich is now offering cosmetic surgery on cows' udders, a.k.a "moo jobs". "Just like women who aren't pleased with the appearance of their...
Restaurant chain Chick-fil-A recently admitted that its popular misspelled advertisement playing off the idea that cows want people to eat more chicken so that they, in turn, will not be eaten, was written not by a cow, as the ad implies, but by a se...
"It's an outrage," said neoconservative congresswoman Nancy Hartwright of Oklahoma City regarding the dairy industry's practice of separating native-born baby cows from their American mothers shortly after birth. "This is something that should happen...
"It's not even in the same realm as bestiality," said Larry Wells, CEO of Vermont-based organic dairy company Wholesome Secretions, Inc., regarding the dairy industry practice of stimulating bulls' penises to collect the semen used to artificially in...
There was a 30-yard tailback on a road in Battambang this morning, after a lorry shed its load of sheds. The lorry - which in the US would be described as 'the truck' - was being driven along the road from Baset in the direction of the city, by a...
There was controversy in Cambodia this afternoon, when a man who was chasing some cows out of his garden slipped and fell on a road, grazing the skin at the back of the top of his leg just underneath his bottom. The cows pass the Battambang home o...
New Delhi invented a new product made from cow urine that has a wide range of cures from cancer, diarrhea, to diabetes. It is on sale by the Bharatiya Janata Party and a BJPan official claimed, "My daughter tried all kinds of things" to get rid of he...
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