MAR-a-LAGO – (Satire News) – The Ta Da News Agency reports that several of America’s most respected seismologists are making a prediction that has the residents of Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Mansion shaking in their over-priced shoes.
TDNA reporter Sequoia Sexx, stated that a Trump family employee, who would only give her nickname, “Titsie,” stated that she actually saw “El Pendejo,” (the stupid one) aka Donaldo Jonathan Erasmus Trump, pee in his size 62 waist Bermuda shorts when he heard the news.
It was recently learned by America's foremost information guru Andy Cohen, that the Trumptard compound sits smack dab on the Santa Mucha Loca earthquake fault.
Cohen noted that back on September 13, 1929, at 3:47 AM, a magnitude 9.1 earthquake hit the area, shaking it so bad that many buildings in Palm Beach ended up in the next county (a distance of 16 miles away).
SIDENOTE: A smiling and jovial Melania Trump recently told her very, very close friend, NBA super star LeBron James, that the upcoming potentially devastating Mar-a-Lago earthquake gives her the perfect excuse to leave “Old Shit-For-Brains,” (Donaldo) and move her sweet ass (her words) back to Trump Tower in Manhattan.