MAR-a-LAGO – (Satire News) – Reports coming out of the Trump Dixieland Mansion state that Mrs. Trump is just about ready to throw in the damn food towel.
Melly’s BFF LeBron James reports that the former first lady has gotten to where she cannot even stand to smell her husband’s Big Mac odorized body.
James stated that the shithead (Donald Trump) is still consuming at least nine Big Macs on a daily basis.
The Trumptard has even been known to keep a box with three or four 'biggies' (Big Macs) stashed underneath his bed.
Mrs. Trump, according to Eric Trump, has contacted one of Florida’s leading exorcists, in an attempt to drag the food-eating demons out of her husband’s fat-ass body.
Meanwhile, one of the Mar-a-Lago maids, Helga Hymensala, reportedly told one of the secret service agents guarding “Old Rhino Ass” (Trump) that she is afraid that if DJT keeps his Big Mac binge-eating up, he will one day turn into a mothereffing Big Mac himself. ■