When is a PEACH not a PEACH?

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Friday, 15 January 2021

image for When is a PEACH not a PEACH?
A PEACH of a butt, but not quite so sweet!

(NOT EDITED) The word PEACH usually describes a sweet fruit which grows in Southern Europe, Mexico, California, and Florida, in fact, anywhere where the sun shines not out of Jaggedone's rear-end, but in less combustible climates.

However, PEACH can often be used within another word, or to describe other objects.

Here are just a few examples:

Football Terminology: "Well that's a PEACH of a shot!" Screamed Ole as United smashed Liverpool!

To describe a baboon's, or other primate-rear-ends often observed at the zoo: "Daddy, look that Monkey over there it has a butt that looks like a PEACH, it's red too, and what's that red pointed thing at the front, is it a red-hot-chili-pepper?"

Romeo's terminology: "Darling your cheeks are like PEACHES rosy red, and your bum too, cannot wait until we hit the covers so I can get my teeth into it!"

Im-PEACH-ment: A word not quite 'meant' to be so sweet, but when they imPEACH a fucking US presidential moron twice, the taste released can be extremely sweet!

Spoofers PEACHES: Utilised by the sheer eccentric, cryptical genius of a mad spoofer, who shall remain nameless, to 'rinse' the imbecile who got booted out of the White House! And because it was so genial, another unnamed spoofer, borrowed the idea and caused a PEACH of a conflict!

A similar PEACH of a conflict is also acted out annually in a quaint village in Italy called, Ivrea, where opponents bombard each other with ORANGES not PEACHES because PEACHES have huge pips, and when bung, could cause concussion, a blind eye, or brain damage, an illness quite common on this site, especially in the forum department!

However, this Italian epic fruity battle is a real PEACH of a news story so, the writer of this PEACH of a spoof must first beg the permission of his beloved editor before he is imPEACHed spoof style!

This PEACH of a spoof is quite 'PIPPING!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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