VANCOUVER, Canada – (Satire News) – Canada’s Royal Mounted News Agency has just announced that the temperature in Vancouver hit 121 degrees at 5:05 pm.
The heat was so powerful, that there are reports that some of the city’s stop signs were warped from the intensity of the sweltering heat.
Canada’s Department of Moose Statistics divulged that millions of moose have actually gone into heat shock. One forest ranger noticed that some of the moose actually had their antlers melt off from the hot, intense, microwavesque heat.
Dr. Kitsalano Killarney, a noted doctor in Vancouver, who deals in heat exhaustion and other heat-related matters, said that he totally blames the heat catastrophe on the fact that for four long, hate-spewing years, Donald Trump chose to simply ignore what over 300,000 weathermen, meteorologists, and pharmacists told him that Global Warming was very real.
Dr. Killarney went on to say that if Trump had spent 1/100 of the time he spent hitting and chasing his little (golf) balls around the golf course, on dealing with climate change – the world would be in a much better shape.
SIDENOTE: Reports from the headquarters of the iRumors News Agency state that Canada, the United States, Mexico, Pisagovia, and 29 other countries will be filing a class action lawsuit against Donald John Trump for first-degree negligence as well as Habeas Stupidity Delecti.
