TOMBSTONE, Arizona – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News reporter Hacienda Fiddle has broken the story that Britney Spears is allegedly on suicide watch.
And she noted that the statement came from none other than Donald John Trump himself.
Trump was in Tombstone speaking at one of his political campaign rallies, or as Anderson Cooper calls them pep rallies.
The rally was held in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, and a Trump spokesperson estimated that the crowd was somewhere between 34,000 and 72,000.
Miss Fiddle, who has a Master’s Degree in Math, commented that the number was actually somewhere between 24 people and 33 people.
But as everyone in America knows, Trump would even lie to his own urologist about the size of his peter.