Coronavirus Mutation: All Animals To Be Annihilated

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 8 November 2020

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Urgent action is needed

After the news from Germany that 207 mink farms have been infected with a new strain of Coronavirus, and the concern that the virus may mutate further in other animals, it's been revealed that ALL animals, everywhere, are to be eliminated from the face of the planet by the end of the year.

The new strain of Coronavirus, provisionally named MINKY-20, has already been tested, and has been found to be resistant to vaccines being developed to fight COVID-19.

It's a worrying time, and immediate effective action is required.

A spokesman for the World Health Organization (WHO) said:

"Animals appear to be the conduit for the virus. It's absolutely essential that we break the link between the virus and ourselves. The extermination process should be undertaken immediately."

A preservation plan to save two virus-free specimens of every creature on Earth is already in progress.

WHO have issued advice about the destruction of animals, and how to go about it safely. Special extermination squads will be responsible for animals not found in an urban setting, but, where possible, the general public is being asked to lend a hand.

Dogs, cats, rabbits, parrots, budgies and other household pets can be shot, drowned in the bath, or put in a wheelie bin.

Fish can be boiled, fried, poached or grilled.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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