Ant eating will save the world, not the ants!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 9 July 2020

image for Ant eating will save the world, not the ants!
Our future nutritional intake will be determined by ants and not devouring dead cows!

Scientists have discovered that eating certain species of ants could save half of the world from starvation, and those who are obese, and love junk food, should be forced to eat ants to save astronomical health costs and airlines enlarging their seats - as if they haven't enough financial problems with the Coronavirus!

There are, however, some slight problems if ant eating becomes globally prolific. Anteaters, the animal version, would become yet another extinct species. In addition, if humans devour trillions of ants every day, planet Earth would tip to one side, because global ants keep planet Earth level.

Trials have begun in Colombia in extracting millions of a particular delicious ant species, fat and juicy ones. Hunters have to wear full-body protective equipment, because being confronted with millions of soldier ants protecting their queens is a rather painful duty. In Africa, ants are even more huge, so ant-hunters there would need safety equipment equivalent to builders reconstructing Chernobyl.

However, it looks like the future will be filled with ant-eating, terribly healthy humans, while McDonalds, Burger King, etc, will be forced to stop slaughtering GMO cows, and convince their mainly obese punters that:

"An Ant Burger a Day, Keeps the Flab Rolls Away!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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