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Funny satire stories about nutrition

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Funny story: Nashville Man Rallies After Disappointing Trip to Grocery Store

Nashville Man Rallies After Disappointing Trip to Grocery Store

Geared up to stock up on wholesome foods and fulfill his New Year’s intention of caring for his body in the way that it deserves, Nate Rudowski of Nashville, Tennessee, popped into his local Kroger grocery store, only to have a disappointing food-sho...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Authorizes Two Christmas Cookies per Day during Holiday Season

Desperate FDA Authorizes Two Christmas Cookies per Day during Holiday Season

Desperate to prevent Americans from ignoring its half-hearted health recommendations altogether, the Food and Drug Administration authorized eating up to two Christmas cookies per day for the duration of the holiday season. "We encourage people to...

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Funny story: Joe Rogan Secretly Yearns to Go Vegan but Fears Alienating Fans

Joe Rogan Secretly Yearns to Go Vegan but Fears Alienating Fans

Sources report that comic and podcast show host Joe Ragan, known for his protein-pounding, bow-hunting ways, secretly yearns to go vegan, but fears alienating his meathead fans. "It's not just a marketing thing," said one inside source. "He's gen...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Recommends Adding More Tomato Sauce to Pizza

Desperate FDA Recommends Adding More Tomato Sauce to Pizza

"Pizza can be a foundational part of a healthy diet, and adding just a little more tomato sauce can help Americans inch that much closer to their five recommended daily servings of vegetables," said Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Brett Gir...

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Funny story: Lifestyle Medicine Doctor Urges Americans to Stop Shaming Fat People

Lifestyle Medicine Doctor Urges Americans to Stop Shaming Fat People

Dr. Lyle Hackett, a lifestyle medicine physician who helps people cure chronic health problems through changes to their diet and lifestyle, made an impassioned plea for Americans to stop shaming fat people. "Just because you're grossly obese and c...

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Funny story: Vegan Animal Rights Activists Accused of Subverting "Live and Let Live" to Promote Their Own Selfish Agenda

Vegan Animal Rights Activists Accused of Subverting "Live and Let Live" to Promote Their Own Selfish Agenda

Long considered an advisement to allow others to do as they please regardless of consequences, the slogan "live and let live" was recently employed by a group of animal rights activists who exhorted humans to eat only plants and let other animals liv...

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Funny story: Residents of Storm-Stricken Puerto Rico Remain Unable to Obtain Insulin, Coca Cola and Spam

Residents of Storm-Stricken Puerto Rico Remain Unable to Obtain Insulin, Coca Cola and Spam

Nearly two years after the major storm that devastated Puerto Rico in 2017, many residents still remain unable to obtain insulin medication, Coca Cola, and other food staples like Oreos, ice cream, and Spam. "At this point, some people are being f...

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Funny story: Joe Rogan and Stamps.web Launch Nutrition Correspondence Course

Joe Rogan and Stamps.web Launch Nutrition Correspondence Course

In a joint effort with Stamps.web, a proud sponsor of The Joe Rogan Experience podcast, comedian and podcast host Joe Rogan announced the launch of a new nutrition correspondence course, which will offer participants the chance to take a deep dive in...

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Funny story: Nashville Woman Skyrockets Health with Morning Chocolate Smoothie

Nashville Woman Skyrockets Health with Morning Chocolate Smoothie

Sandra Larkin of Nashville, Tennessee, has exponentially upped her intake of greens, calcium and protein by incorporating a daily specialty smoothie into her morning routine. Larkin highly recommends her chocolate peanut butter smoothie to anyone int...

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Funny story: Woman's Overweight Friends Worry that She Might Be Getting a Little Too Fat

Woman's Overweight Friends Worry that She Might Be Getting a Little Too Fat

Concerned friends of Nanette Harper of Nashville, Tennessee, started to worry that Nanette had exceeded the extra 30 to 40 pounds that they all comfortably carry, and might be getting a little too fat. "It's a delicate subject, and you don't want...

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Funny story: Cereal Killer Terrorizes Suburban Indianapolis

Cereal Killer Terrorizes Suburban Indianapolis

A cereal killer who's been nicknamed the "Bowl Over Boy" has been terrorizing households in suburban Indianapolis in recent weeks, raiding pantries, rifling through cabinets, and leaving no cereal in the Indianapolis metro area, whether whole-grain...

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Funny story: Fad Dieter Disappointed to Learn that Fasting Just Means Not Eating

Fad Dieter Disappointed to Learn that Fasting Just Means Not Eating

Health-conscious Krista Martin of Charleston, South Carolina, was intrigued by all the chatter in health clubs regarding the supposed benefits of water fasting, until, to her disappointment, she learned that “fasting” simply meant not eating. “Tal...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Prioritizes His Health By Switching from Sprite to Canada Dry

Nashville Man Prioritizes His Health By Switching from Sprite to Canada Dry

After being forced to undergo bypass surgery to address his advanced heart disease, 48-year-old Christian Casey of Nashville, Tennessee, decided it was time to make some real changes to his diet, including switching from drinking Sprite to Canada Dry...

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Funny story: Nashville Vegan Learns to Fit In Better by Feigning Sickness and Toning Down Her Spark for Life

Nashville Vegan Learns to Fit In Better by Feigning Sickness and Toning Down Her Spark for Life

Tired of feeling always on the outskirts of mainstream society due to her vegan lifestyle and glowing sense of wellbeing, Lindsay Larkin of Nashville, Tennessee, made it a goal to become a little more conventional, by periodically feigning illness an...

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Funny story: Free Gluten for Low-Income Americans

Free Gluten for Low-Income Americans

With a surfeit of gluten on its hands due to a rising demand for gluten-free food products, the United States government recently announced that its Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program will be offering free gluten to low-income Americans. "I...

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Funny story: "Grain Brain" Doctor Advocates for Lyric Change to Classic Patriotic Hymn

"Grain Brain" Doctor Advocates for Lyric Change to Classic Patriotic Hymn

"Oh beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain," is a line that has made the hearts of countless Americans swell with patriotic pride, but David Perlmutter, M.D., whose book Grain Brain instructs people to eliminate all grains from their...

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Funny story: New Study Successfully Compares Apples and Oranges (Spoiler Alert: Apples Win!)

New Study Successfully Compares Apples and Oranges (Spoiler Alert: Apples Win!)

Contravening the age-old adage that apples and oranges are inherently too different to compare, a groundbreaking new study published by the Johnny Appleseed Association reported that when considered side by side, based on a number of relevant factor...

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