"Heart-Healthy" Company Breakfast Spotlights Lowfat Yogurt

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 11 February 2020

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Nashville law firm Miles Best does its best to provide employees the support they need to stay healthy.

In addition to offering turkey bacon and bran muffins with margarine, the "heart-healthy" breakfast offered by Nashville law firm, Miles Best LLP, spotlighted lowfat yogurt.

"Nonfat can make people feel deprived, which is not sustainable," said Human Resources Director and Wellness Committee Chair Karen Hensley. "It's about changing your overall lifestyle."

When it was pointed out to her that dairy and other animal products, like meat, have been linked to cancer, diabetes, and various autoimmune diseases, Hensley explained, "This breakfast today is about heart health. It's not that we don't care about those other things, but they might have to wait for another month."

Hensley went on to note that October is breast cancer awareness month, during which Miles Best always hosts a breast cancer barbecue. Stirring a generous scoop of whole-grain 300-calorie-a-half-cup granola into her lowfat yogurt, she said, "We do serve ice cream at that, but it's optional."

Carrying her plate of heart-healthy food to the elevator bank, Hensley pressed the button for one floor down. "It's not easy staying healthy," she said. "We do our best to provide our employees the support that makes it possible."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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