Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 11 June 2018

image for Pope Gets Into Fight Over Climate Change Advice
Don't mess with the Pope!

Pope Francis has spoken out at the end of a two-day conference in the Vatican, saying that the world must convert to clean fuel, and that climate change was a challenge of "epochal proportions".

But representatives of some of the companies present at the conference, told him to get his own house in order before criticising theirs.

This didn't go down at all well with the Pope.

Bill Bubbleman of ExxonMobil, in a very clever rewording of the Pope's quote "Civilisation requires energy, but energy use must not destroy civilisation," said:

"Civilisation requires Religion, but Religion must not destroy civilisation."

Bubbleman explained how he thought religion was responsible for most of what was going wrong in the world at the moment, and particularly the different conflicts in so many countries. The Pope asked him for evidence of this, and Bubbleman started to provide it, only to be given a slap in the face by the feisty Pope, who then gave him the two-fingered sign as his supporters cheered. When the oil man tried to respond to this, the Pope pushed him in the chest, then brought his knee up into the groin area of his opponent, doubling him up. With an agility that spoke of martial artistry, the religious leader then took a step backwards and flicked out his right foot into Bubbleman's face. The ExxonMobil man didn't get up from this. He lay in a heap before the Pope, and the crowd cheered again vociferously.

Other companies present at the conference were BP, Royal Dutch Shell, Equinor and Pemex of Mexico, but their representatives said nothing.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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