(Chicago, IL) In a surprising move, fast-food giant McDonald’s added “Barrel of Crude Oil” to their world-wide menu offerings yesterday, where it is featured on the Value Menu or Dollar Menu joining all-time favorites the McChicken and the McDouble.
Today the Iranian Navy boarded the British oil tanker Bloody Hell Brexit Already, but were unable to take command of the vessel. "There simply was not time for such rubbish," said the Captain Reginald Kipling. "We were just pouring tea and having...
Sleepy Hallow, Connecticut - Chairman of the Feudal Reserve, Graat “The Shark” White, held a small press conference here today to announce a plan to save on ink used for printing currency. “We only profit from the value of the money we print, b...
The discovery of oil, the commodity that the whole world would like to get its greasy hands on, is always momentous, and it was no different last Sunday afternoon in the Battambang commune of Tapon, when a resident doing some garden maintenance had t...
Vice President Mike Pence, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, and National Security Adviser John Bolton are all wiping the drool from the corners of their mouths over the current developments in the Venezuela crisis. Mike Pence said that "America wil...
Pope Francis has spoken out at the end of a two-day conference in the Vatican, saying that the world must convert to clean fuel, and that climate change was a challenge of "epochal proportions". But representatives of some of the companies present...
Marksy - along with all the other horses - had no idea what "subsistence" meant, but they were told by Murdoch that they could look it up if they needed to. They didn't know how or where to look things up, so Murdoch told them the "truth," as he put it, telling the horses it meant "just enough to survive" for right now. The Boar also told the horses that it was just temporary, and that once the...
At the debate yesterday, September 7, on MSNBC, Donald Trump said we should take all of the oil out of Iraq and bring it to America. He complained that America spent $3 trillion, we lost thousands and thousands of lives, "And then what happens is,...
Almost born on the day that our beloved country was born (July 4), George Walker Bush, son of former president and vice president George Herbert Walker Bush and brother to former governor of Florida Jeb Bush, will turn 70 this July 6th. It is fitting that his birthday falls within such an auspicious range of dates since he, and his vaunted political family, has been so integral in the formati...
After enduring criticism for a lack of depth in foreign policy knowledge, Donald Trump has released a plan to bomb Mexico and seize their oil production facilities. Trump spoke tuesday with CNN's Anderson Cooper about the details. "I'm going t...
Reports are emerging that Mr. Obama has been busy in his off hours in White House recreation rooms producing and directing the "Turkey is no turkey!" Christmas ballet. The upcoming ballet is designed for conviviality, joy, getting White House duck...
In a startling turn about "Slick" Jim Mason, CEO of Exxon announced that he has seen the light and is reversing his opinion on climate change. "I think," Mason said, "fossil fuels does cause global warmin' and climate change." Jim took off his cow...
Yesterday, President Obama looking resplendent in tux and bow delivered the following address to a select group of financial experts, bankers and Congressmen at a luncheon held at Capitol Hill Washington. Here is part of his address. "Seven thous...
California - A kilo of Sonoma County Best macrobiotic organic lactose-free olive oil salad dressing has nudged $49.99 for the first time since the OPEC crudites crisis of '99. In brisk trading on the Nasduck Monday the price of restaurant-grade av...
Hole in the Wall Street, Moscow - Usury is thriving once again in Moscow's financial district with payday lenders shamelessly jacking up their base rates as a surge of cash-strapped oligarchs comes a-begging following a plunge on the global price of...
Chancellor Georgie MacOsbourne was today jubilant after accountants totted up Scotland's declared wealth. An immediate windfall tax has been approved of £100 per year per Scottish person. The normally canny and some say downright mean Scottish peo...
Liverpool, A homeless man forced to dig for a better way of life struck oil yesterday. Joe Murphy (50) originally from Bootle but homeless for the last 5 years due to devastating Tory cuts in welfare and unemployment assistance will now receive round...
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