Global warming hits UK with impunity

Written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 1 March 2018


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UK Kiddies are not building snowmen, they're building sandmen as the UK turns into a Sahara fata-morgana!

Thousands of UK residents have been locked outside due to the unusual high temperatures in February caused by El Nino the "beast from the west!" Retailers all over the country are struggling to provide boiling-hot customers with shorts, flip-flops, and ice-cream!

OAP's are tipping over like flies (plenty of them too) and UK hospitals are overwhelmed by boiling, non-Brexit Brits still hot under the collar, and Brexiteers, fuming hot, blaming the heat on Eastern Europeans infiltrating their wonderful island!

Green areas with lakes are white-hot with people BBQ-ing, jumping into the steamy, hot water and, generally being a fucking nuisance as lifeguards attempt to rescue hot-headed kiddies floating away in plastic boats, crocodiles and dolphins, real ones!

The UK has been thrown into chaos and many US ex-pats, who voted for Trump, now swear the man is a demonic Messiah because he poppy-cocked Global warming and told the world it's a load of old f'ing fake news!

Teresa May has ordered Boris Johnson to ask his best friend, President Putin, to send a couple of icebergs before it all melts in the Bering Sea. Putin agreed, but only on one condition, that the UK turns a blind eye to him bombing the shit out of Syrian kiddies; BOJO agreed of course!

Two massive Russian icebergs are being towed towards the UK, and if they melt, Putin has told May not to blame him if her wonderful island sinks without a trace in the ever-warming North Sea after Brexit!

The weather forecast doesn't look good either for the UK as sand-storms are predicted to blow in from the Sahara! However, to exacerbate the problem, BOJO and May cannot even blame the EU, and if she dares blame an Arab nation, she can poke her expected, external non-EU weapon deals up where the sun doesn't shine...

Global warming my butt (not hers!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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