Sarah Ferguson, "The Duchess of York" Confesses That She Now Regrets Not Having Worn Socks During Her 1992 Tryst With John Bryan
LONDON - Sarah Margaret Ferguson recently stated to a reporter for The Tickety Boo News that in her 51 years she has probably had more ups and downs that the American stock market. The Marylebone, London native spoke candidly with Neville Twickenb...Read full story
Ann Coulter shows her tits on Fox News...no one notices!
FOX NEWS NATION - Republican pin up girl, Ann Coulter, flashed her breastesesses (ahem) on the Fox News Sunday program. The panel of six well known conservative pundits were talking about Obama's embassy staff's cowardly apologies to the A-rab terr...Read full story
Kate Middleton porno video found in hotel in-house channel
London - (Rioters): The London Hilton has called in the police after customers jammed the hotel's in-house kiddies' video channel which instead of showing Teletubbies Go Wild On Holiday! featured fifteen porny minutes of footage of K...Read full story
Kate Middleton: My Natasha Richardson Copycat Skiing Tragedy Fears
The Alps - (Klosters/Sloshters Mess): Desperate wannabe royal drama queen Kate Middleton freaked out today over fears of a 'copycat tragedy incident' in the Swiss Alps this week where she and William are courting free media publicity. "Some people...Read full story
Kate Middleton's sacrifice for William
London - (Ass Mess): Some women sacrifice their virginity. Some sacrifice careers. And some even sacrifice entire well-planned futures all for the sake of that special man.Read full story
What the Hell are the Royals Doing in New Zealand of All Places?
In order to answer this simple question our magazine "Conned Weekly" contacted Lord Hiram Abiff Cook of the British Foreign Office London who candidly answered unaware that we had recorded the conversation. Here is what he said: Well, old sport...Read full story
Prince Charles Claims "Jus Primae Noctis" (Right of First Night) With Kate Middleton
Prince Charles, father of Prince William, has claimed the right of "Jus Primae Noctis" (right of first night) with Kate Middleton on his son's upcoming marriage to the English woman. The right, also called "droit du seigneur" (the lord's right) allo...Read full story
Kate Middleton inflatable sex doll bombs
London - (Barefaced Cheek): Sales of Kate Middleton blow-up sex dolls have dived following customer dissatisfaction with the toy's much-hyped lubricants. The $5,000 latex plaything is billed as coming with a state-of-the-art body-temperature gel d...Read full story
"You Talk Too Much," Babies Tell Parents
The trouble began when a scientific study was released suggesting that it's very educational for babies to have their parents talk to them a lot. Too many parents have taken the advice to heart, constantly yakking away at their babies and giving...Read full story
Prince William Will Elevate Kate to "Mistress" Level
Buckingham Palace today announced firmly that Prince William will not be marrying Kate Middleton following speculation that the couple are back together.Read full story
Pippa Middleton Upset Stories About Her Vagina Not Dominating "The Spoof!"
Pippa Middleton, sister of Kate Middleton and "star of the show" at the recent Royal Wedding, is upset that stories about her vagina are not dominating the most read, most shared, and most rated charts on the humor website "The Spoof!" Pippa, who's...Read full story
Kate Middleton ectopic phantom pregnancy fears
London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Pals of Kate Middleton say the desperate royal wannabe has an ectopic phantom pregnancy after a bit of ectoplasm emerged from her arse. "An ectopic pregnancy can be described as a constipation of the uterus," no...Read full story
Prince Upset To Learn On Wedding Night That Kate Isn't A Virgin
Prince William was unhappy to learn on his wedding night that his bride, Kate Middleton, was not a virgin. From the lobby pub of a local hotel, he complained vocally to other drinkers about his wedding night blues. He told one one group of men wi...Read full story
Kate Middleton To Play Upstairs Downstairs’ Rose Buck
London, UK - (Butlers Pantie Mess): An emergency reshuffle at the House of Windsor’s Brexit League has seen Kate Middleton relegated to playing Upper House parlourmaid Rose Buck in line with new expectations of the royal gravy train. “The Upstair...Read full story
Russell Brand shaves beard, gets mistaken for Kate Middleton
Los Angeles, Ca - Strolling down Rodeo Drive this afternoon the former smack addict husband of Katy Perry nearly caused a riot after being besieged by paparazzi convinced he was royal Brit scrounger Kate Middleton. "Actually he's slightly prettier...Read full story
Mother's Day publication date for Kate Middleton's royal sex secrets
London - (Ass Mess): This year's Mother's Day will see the publication of the long awaited first official interview with royal ex-girlfriend Kate Middleton in Ok, Ok, Ok! magazine's US edition where the spurned brunette talks frankly at l...Read full story
Nude Kate Middleton pics found in Buckingham Palace skip
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Nude pictures of Kate Middleton entertaining the entire Blues & Royals regiment were found in a skip outside Buckingham palace today prompting fears that she may have been paid by the Ministry of Defence to sh...Read full story
Prince William And Kate Middleton Attend Wedding Number 12 - Is Theirs On The Horizon With Baby Shocker?
Breaking News - Prince William and Kate Middleton today announced that they would be attending the wedding of William Duckworth Chad, to Miss Henrietta Huzzah Merrieweather - the twelfth wedding the couple have attended together. When asked if at...Read full story
Queen Warns Grandchildren to "Shut the Fuck Up Already!"
Buckingham Palace, London, England The Queen didn't realize the microphone was still on when she was yelling at Prince William, Prince Harry, and Kate Middleton for being too candid in their public speeches, and not royal enough when talking to crowd...Read full story
Prince Philip caught trying on Kate Middleton's wedding dress
Greek xenophobe Phil "Duke of Edinburgh" Windsor has been caught trying on Kate Middleton's wedding dress by a maid at Windsor Castle. Tillie Mint entered the private chambers of the Queen and Prince yesterday to find Prince Philip parading around...Read full story