Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 16 September 2012

Paris - A French judge has sided with the editor of SaggyTitz! magazine that some tawdry royal boob snaps 'were deliberately posed'.

And he's thrown out demands for the pics' destruction as well as punitive damages against the mag.

Calls for the jailing of paparazzi who snapped Kate's flagging 32A chest were also routinely laughed out of court.

"Zees is France, world capital of zee naked boob," Judge Hervé Stéphan commented, "where women who bare know zee score.

"Our national emblem, the bare-chested Marianne, adorns every public building from Calais to Marseille.

"If anything, zees pics 'ave upped Kate Middleton's profile," Stéphan added, "no one 'ere believes she'll ever be Queen."

Palace lawyers had argued the pictures were highly offensive and that paparazzi 'are hounding Kate...just like they hounded poor Diana'.

"William's mother Princess Diana would have been horrified, M'Sieu," Sir Baldylox Fatcat-Arzlikka QC protested on behalf of the Palace that's brought the suit.

"Show me zee DNA proof that zees William is even remotely related to zee late Diana, heheh!" the judge chuckled before awarding costs against the litigants.

The entire legal escapade has cost William and Kate close to one hundred thousand squid.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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