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Funny satire stories about Kate Middleton

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Royal family produces another litter

Funny story: Royal family produces another litter

Horse-faced brood mare Kate Middleton has given birth to another boy. Doctors say that she is doing well and although she ate the rest of her litter, one male did manage to survive. The pale princess will now be rested for another few months, then...

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The Magic of Middleton

If you're British (we know you are if you're reading one of our pieces, there was one Finnish guy that read one and he died! Our work doesn't seem to translate well for international audiences) you will know that the Royal Family are better than you and Kate Middleton is certainly better than you and whatever shit you do. Speculation is rife with how Kate manages to look so young and unflustered e...

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Queen Warns Grandchildren to "Shut the Fuck Up Already"!

Funny story: Queen Warns Grandchildren to "Shut the Fuck Up Already"!

Buckingham Palace, London, England The Queen didn't realize the microphone was still on when she was yelling at Prince William, Prince Harry, and Kate Middleton for being too candid in their public speeches and not royal enough when talking to crowds...

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Ten Facts About Kate Middleton

As a country (I mean the UK, you know a proper country) we have a tendency to fawn over people who wear incredibly expensive jewellery, live in palaces and expect the tax payer to foot the bill when their roof has a leak. So to play to the gallery as it were here are seven facts you didn't know about our future Queen Kate Middleton. 1. As part of the Royal Family she has several other titles in...

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Duchess Kate Changes Hair Style to Take Press Attention from Castle Demolition

Funny story: Duchess Kate Changes Hair Style to Take Press Attention from Castle Demolition

London, England Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, has raised a giant stir in the British Isles by changing her hairstyle. This has just been discovered to be a smoke screen in order to cover up the fact that Kate has ordered the 214 year old Anme...

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And Here is the News...Again.

Funny story: And Here is the News...Again.

HEADLINES KIM KARDASHIAN ROCKED UP TO RIHANNA'S FIRST DIAMOND BALL BENEFIT IN A PLUNGING LEOTARD WITH MESH NETTING. Friends say this is a radical departure for her. Kim has also been made an offer by Air Canada to model her bum for new hot air balloon. MOTHER OF NINETEEN CHILDREN VOWS "NEVER TO GET PREGNANT AGAIN". FRANK BRUNO GIVEN ALL CLEAR BY DOCTORS TO RESUME BOXING... BUT MAY HAVE T...

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Prince William's rowdy university buddy Gaz turns up at door, spends night on couch

Funny story: Prince William's rowdy university buddy Gaz turns up at door, spends night on couch

Prince William and Kate Middleton had an unexpected visitor to Buckingham Palace when William's old university drinking buddy Gaz turned up at the front door asking to stay for a bit with them. William's old friend Gaz had been on a night out in Lon...

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Two Mothers Wearing Yellow Dresses

Funny story: Two Mothers Wearing Yellow Dresses

When the Duchess of Cambridge walked out of the hospital wearing a yellow dress and carrying her new daughter, Charlie, she appeared so radiant and pretty, Russian women questioned whether Kate was the birth mother. They also raised questions about C...

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What the Hell are the Royals Doing in New Zealand of All Places?

Funny story: What the Hell are the Royals Doing in New Zealand of All Places?

In order to answer this simple question our magazine "Conned Weekly" contacted Lord Hiram Abiff Cook of the British Foreign Office London who candidly answered unaware that we had recorded the conversation. Here is what he said: Well, old sport...

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Problem with Kate's baby

Funny story: Problem with Kate's baby

Kate Middleton (aka The Duchess of Cambridge) has put the cat among the pigeons both in Downing street and Buckingham Palace by naming her new child Nicola. She told her husband Walliam that the name was perfect and reminded her of a visit she mad...

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HMP Belmarsh mother and baby unit readies for royal birth

Funny story: HMP Belmarsh mother and baby unit readies for royal birth

Isle of Dogs, UK - Warders at the country's top maximum security jail have finished preparations for the imminent confinement of Kate Middleton at the prison's newly refurbished Dildo Wing. The royal hoaxer is due to farrow any day soon after pul...

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Kate Middleton denies palace tryst

Funny story: Kate Middleton denies palace tryst

LONDON -- The royals are not above showing a little of their majestic bodies on occasion. Exhibitionist Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cornhole and wife of Prince William, is proof of that, having shown her regal tatas to the world and having flashed her...

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Royal Family to Move to Australia

Funny story: Royal Family to Move to Australia

A spokesman for the British Foreign Office has announced that the House of Windsor has been transferred to Australia. There has been increasing speculation of late as to why the royal family are such frequent visitors to the continent. Kate and W...

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Wall Street unimpressed with scrounger royals

Funny story: Wall Street unimpressed with scrounger royals

New York - The big money fixers are staying away in droves as Prince William and his gargoyle wife arrive in NYC rattling their sadass begging bowls. Up to a dozen City Z-LIsters have forked out fifty grand a piece to hobnob with the faux royals w...

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New Yorkers' disgust at $100,000-a-table Kate and William dinner

Funny story: New Yorkers' disgust at $100,000-a-table Kate and William dinner

New York - "For that kind of money you'd at least expect a blow job over the flambe tart course," one wealthy New Yorker said today after being asked to stump up $100k for a gala dinner table with William and Kate, "just ask Michelle Obama!" The h...

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A right Royal Carry on!

Funny story: A right Royal Carry on!

The news that Kate Middleton is up the duff again has come as a major surprise to the Royal household, especially Liz and Phil, the latter swearing fucking blind that he was nowhere near Kate's bedroom when she was on heat! Liz is particularly pis...

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Kate Middleton's cocaine dealer uncle is supermarket's Mr Bombastic

Funny story: Kate Middleton's cocaine dealer uncle is supermarket's Mr Bombastic

London - Gary Goldsmith has a new line of work after securing a contract channeling national supermarket's Mr Bombastic. A series of naff TV ads promoting the price cutting supermarket features the 69 year-old as a savvy pot-bellied gnome outsmar...

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Royal Body language experts determine Prince George will grow to be expert at pooping, crying

Funny story: Royal Body language experts determine Prince George will grow to be expert at pooping, crying

Only a year old and yet body language experts have already signalled that Prince George will be fantastic at both crying and pooping. "We studied several videos of the young prince and surprisingly he showed a real interest in crying his head off...

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Breaking news…

Trump Said News Media The Enemy

Trump said the news media was the enemy of the people. Saudi newsman Jamal Khashoggi was critical of the Saudi government, then goes missing in the Saudi Embassy in Turkey? Looks like a green light.
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