The hairstyle known as “The Karen” has finally been put to rest. Peace may now flow over the face of the earth. All hair salons throughout the world have immediately imposed a total ban on the, some would say, demonic hair.
Ms. Imelda Applebaum of Greater Hock, Wisconsin, has said, “I can’t believe what I did to those poor women. I know I shouldn’t blame myself too much – they asked me to shape their hair that way. But I feel so bad letting them go out into the world and become what they became. My hands won’t stop shaking. What have I done?”
Another hair stylist, Sheniqua Wilmot, from Upper Grosny, NY, said, “That hairstyle – may its name be forever stricken from human tongues – is evil, pure and simple. Forged by Lucifer himself, I truly believe that. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy – for all the hell it hath unleashed. May it burn in Hell and all those Karens with it – no, that’s going too far. It’s the hair – just the hair. It transforms a good woman into that … thing!”
Of course, there are still some Karens roaming the planet, inflicting harm upon the unsuspecting. Will the generation of “Karens” go the way of the mullet? Only time will tell.
