Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 16 April 2022

image for Hair Today Gone Tomorrow
Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

Just as the U.S.A. acquired it own Guy Fawkes in Donald Trump, now Great Britain has its very own Richard Nixon in Boris Johnson!

Boris Johnson will be serving a long time behind bars for his part in Partygate, but as an unexpected twist, his hair will not.

A Spokesperson for the High Court of All Things Elitist said today: “Mr. Johnson’s hair will be serving harder time on St. Helena Island, where we sent Napoleon, so that, even if Boris gets out in a few decades, his hair will never see the light of day.”

Other government officials with bizarre hairstyles are worried, as there is talk in the House of Poncey Wankers that since mad laws are being made by the minute, why not make a law against hair, hair accessories, hair stylists, and evil barbers?

An unnamed rat in government, calling himself a spokesperson for Politicians What Don’t Like to Speak to the Media said: “The Barber of Fleet Street, Sweeney Todd, after all, was British! We need to remove these people and send them to, I dunno, Somalia? Ethiopia? Somewhere they’ll never survive a drought, a mass starvation, a civil war, or whatever we’ve encouraged and done nothing about though we could solve in seconds.”

Tuck yer hats low, lads ... only the bald will survive!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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