BILLINGSGATE POST: In the pantheon of Dick Tracy villains, there was no greater public enemy than Flyface. His real name was Felixweather Limpp, aka Hank Tight. A lawyer by profession, Flyface was a portly, 42-year old man with a constant grimaced expression on his face. He was a slovenly man with little regard for basic hygiene. His face; a perfect target for filthy flies. One thing, though; he hated to be called Flyface.
Flyface quit school at the end of his freshman year in high school, but received a law degree, nevertheless. His life changed when he met Willie the Fifth, an underworld figure. Olive Tomate was part of Fifth’s gang. She objected to Flyface’s odor and dirty clothes. She kept spraying bug spray at the flies surrounding his face. It was Flyface who taught Fifth to say “I refuse to answer……” and Fifth, thinking it was a brilliant legal ploy, made Flyface his attorney. Fifth wouldn’t make any decision without Flyface’s advice.
While Flyface and Willie were doing a little jail time, Flyface demanded to have his law books given to him to read. Flyface set fire to the pages of his law books and, because the pages were soaked with a certain chemical, the flames gave off traces of nitric oxide. The fumes killed two guards, but Flyface and Fifth, with cigarette filters in their nostrils, feigned unconsciousness. When they saw their chance, they disguised themselves as firemen and escaped from the county jail.
Later, disguised in muumuus, they flew to Hawaii. While surfing in Honolulu they were hit by a tremendous tidal wave. Fifth and Flyface couldn’t outrun the huge wave and they floundered in the undertow. After the tidal wave subsided, no bodies were found. However, there was a pile of sand with flies swarming around - possibly Flyface’s grave. He was presumed dead.
Dr. Slim: “What a beautiful story. Flyface was a true American hero.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. You can’t make this up. The guy’s a legend.”
Episode 2 - Just Call Me Pruneface
Episode 3 - B.O. Plenty: He Had It All
