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Funny satire stories about Americans

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Funny story: Americans United in How Much They Hate Each Other

Americans United in How Much They Hate Each Other

A new survey found that Americans are overwhelmingly united on how much they hate each other. “People say America is a divided country but our data shows that’s not true,” said pollster Tom Andjerry with Emerson College. “They are in almost comple...

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Funny story: Things Getting Tight for Attention

Things Getting Tight for Attention

For generations, thanks to regular reminders to pay him, Attention had been doing quite well for himself. These days, though, amidst a flood of social media, smart phones, and infinite other distractions, no one’s paying Attention much – and he's be...

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Funny story: Majority of Americans Believe Whatever They Read But Fortunately They Don't Read Very Much

Majority of Americans Believe Whatever They Read But Fortunately They Don't Read Very Much

In an era of online news reporting and misinformation, a new study by the Center for Informational Integrity revealed that a disturbing 98 percent of Americans believe whatever they read, but fortunately they don't read very much. "It''s good news...

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Funny story: Scientists Link Youtube Political Propaganda Videos to 5 Point Drop in Average IQ of Americans

Scientists Link Youtube Political Propaganda Videos to 5 Point Drop in Average IQ of Americans

Atlanta - Scientists studying an apparent 5-point drop in the average IQ of adults in the United States, have established a connection between the fall in test results and the online and television viewing habits of those subjects. The research...

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Funny story: Shock! Museum of the Bible's Dead Sea Scrolls Fragments are "Forgeries"

Shock! Museum of the Bible's Dead Sea Scrolls Fragments are "Forgeries"

Washington's Museum of the Bible has announced that five of its most prized artefacts – valuable fragments in its collection of Dead Sea Scrolls – are forgeries and will no longer be displayed unlike other artefacts of dodgy origin. German researc...

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Funny story: Now that he wants to become an American, The Beeb wishes he hadn't been such an asshole

Now that he wants to become an American, The Beeb wishes he hadn't been such an asshole

USA All the Way—Now that he's wed Hailey “Bald” Wynn, the blonde bombshell who shaves “down there,” teen heartthrob Justin “Canuck” Bieber wants to become an American. But he also wants to retain his Canuck citizenship. “As he says to me,” his blu...

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Funny story: Dumb MFer Gets Ripped Off Buying Used Hyundai

Dumb MFer Gets Ripped Off Buying Used Hyundai

A local moron just got ripped off buying a used Hyundai Sonata. "I bought the bumper-to-bumper warranty, which added like $3,000 to the price of this cheap piece of shit," the dumb motherfucker from Carson Township said. But the bumper-to-bump...

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Funny story: American Guy Tries to Act Like He Knows A Lot About Soccer

American Guy Tries to Act Like He Knows A Lot About Soccer

An American guy who knows nothing about soccer got way too into the World Cup match between England and Croatia in an effort to seem cool and worldly to his friends. He even used the word "gutted" to describe his feelings after the loss, knowing t...

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Funny story: HARDCORE! Small Sector of Americans Remain Committed to Extreme Sports like Jogging and Power-Walking

HARDCORE! Small Sector of Americans Remain Committed to Extreme Sports like Jogging and Power-Walking

Shrugging off warnings about heat exhaustion, dehydration, and running being hard on the joints, a small but committed sector of the American population continue to cling to their obsession with extreme sports, like jogging and power-walking. “It'...

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Funny story: LOL??? New Study Reports that People Are Funny

LOL??? New Study Reports that People Are Funny

A new study released today by the American Psychological Association reports that people are funny - not funny in the "ha-ha sense," clarified APA President Evan Cartwright, but funny as in "weird, strange, bizarre. F-ed up, if you will.” Cartwrig...

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Funny story: Poll Reveals that 45% of Americans Think They Will Wake Up and the Entire Trump Presidential Term Will Have Been a Dream

Poll Reveals that 45% of Americans Think They Will Wake Up and the Entire Trump Presidential Term Will Have Been a Dream

Online and in-person surveys have mostly agreed on the percentage of Americans who cannot believe what is happening since Trump started running for President. "Things just started getting more and more unreal. First there was the nomination campaign which was surrealistic. Then there was the press, which wouldn't stop covering Trump just like one would watch a train wreck. But the train made i...

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Funny story: Town Suspicious Of Man's Fancy Shirt

Town Suspicious Of Man's Fancy Shirt

DEVILS LAKE, ND - Reporting flagrant use of paisley and too many colors, residents of this quiet resort town have raised alarm at the bold fashion statement made by recent transplant Steven Hoey, seen last night wearing the flamboyant shirt. Local w...

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Funny story: The American Dream Is Now The American Reality TV Show

The American Dream Is Now The American Reality TV Show

There's a new flavor of the month reality show coming out every day and it's called America. Citizens are really excited because they have more opportunities to sit on the couch eating dictator tots, while watching the fly by lies become the truth ri...

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Funny story: Hillary Clinton To Make Direct Appeal To Less-Educated, White, Male Voters

Hillary Clinton To Make Direct Appeal To Less-Educated, White, Male Voters

In the final run-up to the US presidential elections, Hillary Clinton is hoping to ensure victory by winning-over the one demographic group that Donald Trump has yet failed to insult or alienate. That group consists of white American men without a...

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Funny story: Americans Embarrassed By Trump Won't Travel Abroad

Americans Embarrassed By Trump Won't Travel Abroad

62% of Americans don't know what the constitution is - they have no idea of what's in it. 51% believe it establishes a Christian nation. 1 in 4 believes that the sun revolves around the earth. 70% of Americans don't believe in evolution which is...

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Funny story: Trump's Fight to Protect American soil - and Personal Space

Trump's Fight to Protect American soil - and Personal Space

Washington, D.C. - You heard it here first. The Trump campaign has, yet again, surprised America by proposing a new policy it is naming "The Unalienable Personal Space of Americans", which would criminalize the action of illegal aliens who get too cl...

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Funny story: US Citizens Embarassed By Donald Trump Pose As Canadians When Abroad

US Citizens Embarassed By Donald Trump Pose As Canadians When Abroad

Fueling a spike in sales of all things Canadian, Americans going overseas are depleting store stocks, especially of sports gear, in the US and abroad. While visiting France, Brendy Wells and her boyfriend Scott Winter were soon tired of explainin...

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