Don’t F*ck With The Duke

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 24 July 2020

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The Duke

BILLINGSGATE POST: Is nothing sacred? I fear not. Centuries have passed since Columbus sailed the ocean blue. He’s tostada. One character flaw, and there goes your statue. Mother Teresa, herself, probably couldn’t withstand the scrutiny that one must undergo to please the self-ordained judges who document the flaws of historical figures. It is hoped they are sinless themselves.

WTF is going on? Even President Trump has his critics. The Donald has lived a life of self-deprivation that underlies his every action. How many canonized saints of the past 2020 years of Christianity have done more with less to make the world a better place to live?

Yet, even he is subjected on these pages to a barrage of unfounded claims that he is a deeply flawed man.

But don’t f*ck with The Duke. John Wayne is off limits. Even OMBAC (Old Mission Bay Athletic Club), the group that sponsors the annual Over-The-Line contest on Fiesta Island in San Diego, has deemed him sacrosanct. This is an international tournament with hundreds of teams who come to San Diego each July to participate. It is played with a ball and bat.

The adult-only names of teams are so ribald that they cannot be published. Anything - and everything - is fair game; with the exception, of course, of John Wayne. This is an absolute. No derogatory use of his name is allowed. Same here.

Slim: “The Duke is off limits.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. I got the message.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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