In what Republican lawmakers touted as certain boost for the economy, the president revealed his plan today, to "Put The Lead Back In Paint."
A spokesperson for the Society of Mothers For The Manufacture of Lead responded that this is exactly what American needs to bring pride back to our workers. She then snorted coke off the back of a hairless donkey, and collapsed on the floor in what White House doctors described as a run of the mill coke seizure.
"The new paint these days, just doesn't have the same shine as the good stuff we used back in the good old days," said the leader of the free world.
